Gayish: 309 Selfies

Are people who take selfies narcissist? Why do gays love selfies? Are we willing to die for selfies?

In this episode: News- 2:35 || Main Topic (Selfies)- 17:11 || Gayest & Straightest- 1:15:35

On the bonus segment, Mike and Kyle learn tips to improve their selfie game, and they take some selfies to see if it worked. Get bonus segments every Friday and other great benefits by joining at www.patreon.com/gayishpodcast.

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

INTRO MUSIC [MIKE JOHNSON SINGING]

When you know that you are queer but your favorite drink is beer, that’s Gayish. You can bottom without stopping but you can’t stand going shopping, that’s Gayish. Oh, Gayish. You’re probably Gayish. Oh life’s just too short for narrow stereotypes. Oh, it’s Gayish. We’re all so Gayish. It’s Gayish with Mike and Kyle.

MIKE JOHNSON

Hello everyone in the podcast universe, this is Gayish.

KYLE GETZ  

The podcast where life always finds a way… to fuck you over. [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON  

Amen to that, brother. I’m Mike Johnson.

KYLE GETZ

I’m Kyle Getz.

MIKE JOHNSON

And we’re here to bridge the gap between sexuality and actuality. And today…

KYLE GETZ  

Today we’re talking about selfies.

MIKE JOHNSON

We’re talking about selfies!

KYLE GETZ

God, I don’t want to- Do we have to do this episode?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yes!

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yes! Yes.

KYLE GETZ

Yes, I’m excited.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Otherwise…

KYLE GETZ

We would be very quiet.

MIKE JOHNSON

…we would be unemployed. [Kyle laughs] Which, thank you for that episode. I’m not Sarah, everybody.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, yeah! Welcome back. [Mike laughs] You- So far, you’re- This is your test run to decide if we want you to keep cohosting, or, you know, if we’re gonna go a different direction.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well Kyle, I like to think of an interview as me interviewing you, in return. We’re interviewing each other. 

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, dual co-interviews?

MIKE JOHNSON

Mhm.

KYLE GETZ

What if neither of us make the cut? [both laugh] We just leave, we just go home.

MIKE JOHNSON

It can be the Derek show after this, I guess. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ

Uh, welcome back, Mike.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Thanks. Yeah, I’ve been all over the world.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah!

MIKE JOHNSON

I mean, like, [laughing] literally all over the world.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, yeah. Do you- Oh, we’re gonna record our Patreon bonus episode soon, so that’s where you can hear our personal news updates, because we do that on the bonus episode every month.

MIKE JOHNSON

Look at you, shilling successfully. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

See? I’m doing good in my interview. I’m nailing my interview. You’re doing… fine. You’re doing- You’re meeting expectations, so far.

MIKE JOHNSON  

That’s really all I wanted.

KYLE GETZ

Right? [both chuckle]

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, happy Thanksgiving, everybody! If you’re hearing this now, it’s Thanksgiving. If you’re not hearing it now, it’s later. [both laugh]

KYLE GETZ  

Okay, that was funny, you got your job. That was good. That’s really useful information that you provided. Umm, yeah. I hope you’re either enjoying your family, or avoiding your family, or you’ve found your chosen family, and that you are-

MIKE JOHNSON  

Wherever you are, or who you’re with, feel bad about colonialism.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeahhh. Let’s feel bad about colonialism together!

MIKE JOHNSON  

Doing it.

KYLE GETZ

And be very full.

MIKE JOHNSON

Doing it right now.

KYLE GETZ  

[laughs] Current- Actively feeling- Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

We don’t have any feedback, or corrections.

KYLE GETZ

Well, we surely do in our inbox, but not from our mouths to your ears.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, so, here come-

KYLE GETZ

From a babe’s mouth, to the lips, ears.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Here comes the news.

[News segment intro plays, sung by MIKE JOHNSON]

Shut your mouth hole it’s time for your ear holes, news, news, news.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, so I’ve been- I’ve been out of the country, did I miss anything?

KYLE GETZ

No.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, God, Kyle.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, God, Mike.

MIKE JOHNSON

We- We have to- We have- We have to- We have to talk about…

KYLE GETZ

Oh, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

We have to talk about Club Q, and it’s gonna be sad. News the first: Club Q.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

More- Yet another- Yet another mass shooting in a queer space in this fucked-up stupid-ass country filled with dickbags.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, yeah- [sighs] Yeah. At least five people were killed, and more than 20 people were injured as a gunman entered the Club Q queer venue and safe space in Colorado Springs, Colorado. And, um, this was Saturday, so just last weekend, and um, [sighs] of course everybody’s having repeat feelings of the Pulse club shooting in Orlando.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, I- [sighs] I don’t- I don’t know- I don’t know what to do, Kyle. I don’t know what to say.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

News the second- No, I- [chuckles] Like, it’s horrific, and terrible, and clearly clearly motivated by hate. Um-

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, it was a MAGA republican’s son or something, that, like- It is so- It’s frustrating because we see the direct connection, we know exactly what’s happening. It’s horrific, and shocking, and terrifying, and also so easy to draw the direct line between what Republicans are saying about us, and the violence against us, but it’s such a helpless feeling. I think that’s part of why, like- I mean, people have already given so many of their takes as it happened, so that’s part of it, but also, like, it’s such a powerless feeling, and what do you say? Like, there’s nothing that makes any of this better, and nothing on an individual level that I can go and do. I mean, the most I can do is try to say something meaningful, but I have nothing meaningful to say. It’s just a helpless, horrible feeling, that you just- I don’t know. You just feel trapped and, like, that’s just what has to happen. Like, it just feels like there’s no way out of this, and it sucks.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, um, [chuckles] it’s really… hopeless… feeling.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

I agree. Apparently- Apparently the gunman was subdued by people in the club, and, one of which was a drag queen who apparently, like, stood on him with her heels.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

So I’m loving the memes going around about, like, a drag queen could do what dozens and dozens of Uvalde police officers with multimillion-dollar budget couldn’t.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah. And I think the other one was, like, an Army vet that, like, subdued him. So- I mean, that part of it is like, we take care of ourselves, we have to, because other people are not taking care of our community right now. So like, to me, that’s one of the reminders. People are walking- are invading our spaces and making places – everywhere; online, bars, political arenas – like, are making us more and more unsafe every day. And we have to- We have to look out for our community, unfortunately, and- because others won’t.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep. Yep.

KYLE GETZ

Um… I dunno, I- I did, like, the only thing I could think of to do. Like, I posted in the Facebook group, and it was just like, “Your existence is an act of resistance.” I think, when you feel helpless, reminding yourself that to whatever degree you’re able to be out or be yourself, like, whatever that means to you, remind- I have to remind myself, like, my existence, my being open about being gay, my being authentic, is part of, like, an action that is resistance. So, it’s not that I’m doing nothing, I am and existing, and existing- or, working to find happiness, working on your own personal happiness, that is also resistance, because that is something they do not want us to have.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

So – and, you know – I went to a gay bar last night with a friend, so that was kind of a… I just wanted to be like, “Fuck you. You don’t get to decide where I feel safe, and if I get to go out.” And, I don’t know, that was kinda- took my dog for a walk, that was like my trying to care for myself.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, I like that. I went out and got laid.

KYLE GETZ  

That’s resist- [Mike laughs] I mean, fucking is resistance, right?

MIKE JOHNSON

Great.

KYLE GETZ

Did you really?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Who?

MIKE JOHNSON

In Buenos Aires.

KYLE GETZ

What’s his- What’s his name?

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m not gonna go into that right now.

KYLE GETZ

Describe his body, [Mike laughs] from the top to the bottom.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well- Okay, first of all, why are we talking about this now? That’s- Anyway. Uh, older. He’s older than me. That’s not a thing I do.

KYLE GETZ  

Oooh, that’s rare!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah!

KYLE GETZ

See our episode about younger guys with Davey Wavey.

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Is this the right time to be plugging ourselves like this? [laughing] That’s- That’s gross that I just did that.

MIKE JOHNSON

Or- Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Or maybe it is. Listen to gay shit, and do gay shit, and feel good about-

MIKE JOHNSON

Exactly.

KYLE GETZ

I mean, I think getting fucked is resistance. Oh, I don’t know what you did specifically, but whatever.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I was resisting. [laughing]

KYLE GETZ  

As part of consensual BDSM play? [Mike continues laughing] Okay, just wanted to make sure- make- add the consensual part, for- What are we doing? We’re avoiding-

MIKE JOHNSON  

To wrap this horrific story up: I agree with you.

KYLE GETZ  

[laughs] End of- Great! End of podcast, we don’t need to do any more. Sorry. Okay, what were you actually saying?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Be happy. Do something gay and be happy, because that’s what they hate the most, I think is- is hard to grab on to, but valuable. And, so, let’s try to do a gay-ass podcast and have some laughs or something.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God, I mean, is selfies gonna be a fun topic? It’s not gonna be, for me. I forgot that I actually have to talk about this now. But, yeah. Well, yeah, we’ll do some gay shit together.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay, great. [both snort] News the second?

KYLE GETZ

Yes.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay. News the second: So, there were seven European soccer teams that are doing the FIFA World Cup right now, who wanted to wear pro-LGBTQ+ armbands on the field, and uh-

KYLE GETZ  

The fact that you described playing soccer as “doing” soccer- [laughing] Like, just- Like, “they’re doing the FIFA,” or whatever you said.

MIKE JOHNSON  

They’re- Yeah. They’re, you know, they’re doing it.

KYLE GETZ

They’re doing FIFA, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, uh- But FIFA said “We will give you a yellow card if you do that,” so the European Football Association released a statement that advised players, quote, “not to attempt to wear the armbands in FIFA World Cup games,” and the FIFA officials have said that they have zero tolerance of the One Love campaign, which, those are the armbands that they wanted to wear. They said “ONE LOVE” on them. They have already been used in the past, so Harry Kane, who’s one of the English players, who’s on England’s team, had worn one against Iran. No, I am lying to you. It was the opener against Iran that was the one that they were threatened with being penalized for. A yellow card is used to caution players, and a red card means that they get kicked out of the game. And, uh- So, instead he wore one that says “NO DISCRIMINATION”. Where did my picture of that go? I had a picture of this thing.

KYLE GETZ  

That’s helpful for this audio podcast.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Well, he did wear an armband and that one was approved, but instead of being a One Love and rainbows, like, gay shit on it, it’s just black and it says “NO DISCRIMINATION”. And- Which is fine. You’re doing something, and we know, but, you know, apparently your rainbow was too much for FIFA and the host country of Qatar. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

I can’t. [laughs]

MIKE JOHNSON

I can’t either, but I’ve been listening a lot to like, how the fuck do you fucking say that country?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And it’s- Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s the best I can approximate. Qatar.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. I mean, I struggle with people that are even attending this, like, the teams themselves. If all the team said “We are not playing in this,” they would have to change it. Like, they could get together, and they have the power to do something, and they have decided not to. Which, I mean, you worked so hard for something in your life, I’m not trying to diminish the fact that people have worked and that that could risk them not getting to play in this thing that they worked so hard for, but also, it’s real fucked up that they picked a country that doesn’t allow people to be gay and are pretending like that’s us being intolerant.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

And have used slave labor to set up the- to build the place. I don’t know too much about that, other than that. But like, it’s just real fucked up, and, I mean, just like a lot of things, like, people have the power if they wanted to, and even wearing an armband is- Like, take the fucking yellow card! I don’t know. I’m frustrated by everything in life, including this.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Enjoy your $8.50 nonalcoholic beers, you fuckers.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, I just- Yeah. I don’t know. Yeah, take the yellow card and then behave, maybe, is one way to do that. So, a statement released to Reuters said, quote, “FIFA has been very clear that it will impose sporting sanctions if our captains wear the armbands on the field of play. As national federations, we can’t put our players in a position where they could face sporting sanctions including bookings, so we have asked the captains not to attempt to wear the armbands in FIFA World Cup games.” And, just- Maybe just don’t play at all? I- I don’t know. I don’t know. Yeah. Yeah. It’s also just a game, at the end of the day. Like, I know that there’s lots of money wrapped up in professional sports, and blah blah blah, and bliggity blahggity, but, like, fuck.

KYLE GETZ  

It’s a game, and this is our lives.

MIKE JOHNSON

Exactly. Exactly.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Well-

KYLE GETZ

But- I mean, like, the trouble I get into is like, that can be so many things. Like, I shouldn’t buy anything from China then because of the labor that they use to make that is so- Like, I don’t know, they’re- Like, you could- To be- To pay attention to every single issue in the world, and be kind of this model person that follows and doesn’t- Like, it is so difficult because things can be so shitty, and there’s- No one is- When you exist within this system, that, like- How do you participate in this capitalist, systemically racist system in a way that makes you feel good? I don’t know. I get that it’s difficult, but, I don’t know. Or maybe it’s not. I- This is what I go back and forth. Or maybe just don’t fucking play at this, and say fuck you.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yep.

KYLE GETZ

I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! [both laugh]

KYLE GETZ  

Merry fucking Thanksgiving! Eat your fucking turkey!

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh, Jesus. Pass out already. [Kyle laughs] Okay, news the last.

KYLE GETZ

Great.

MIKE JOHNSON

I think- I think It’s a happy story, Kyle.

KYLE GETZ

The fact that you’re not sure of it has me worried!

MIKE JOHNSON  

Um… Grindr has made its [Kyle laughs] public debut on the New York Stock Exchange, on Friday-

KYLE GETZ

Sure.

MIKE JOHNSON

-with an opening price of $16.90 a share. It closed at $71.50.

KYLE GETZ

Damn.

MIKE JOHNSON

Apparently- Yeah. The ticker symbol is GRND, and, yeah, apparently people are bullish on us fuckin’. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Great, they have high hopes. Well, I think they have high hopes for spending a bunch of time- Like, you make more money if we spend a bunch of time there and don’t find someone, like, ‘cause then they get to serve their ads more. So, I think they’re bullish on the- the [laughs] hopelessness that is [Mike laughs] searching for dating in the gay world. God, I- I ruined this story that you wanted to be happy.

MIKE JOHNSON

They just- They just know that we can’t quit Grindr.

KYLE GETZ

Mm. Oh, well I can ‘cause I’m not allowed on it. So, they- My hand was forced. My dick was forced.

MIKE JOHNSON  

That’s right. Well, maybe you should buy some shares then, [laughs] and see if that’ll get you back on the platform.

KYLE GETZ  

Okay, but then, this is another thing where it’s like, okay but if you use Grindr, like, the CEO has- is both gay and has, like, talked about voting Republican, like, and is right wing. Like, wha- So then, do you not use Grindr? It’s like, everything in our lives is- Okay, no. It’s happy! People are buying the stock! Cool! Grindr’s on the market! [Mike laughing] Hook up! I don’t-…

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh, God. We did it. [both laughing]

KYLE GETZ  

That’s the end of the news.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Successful. Successful. Yeah, uh-

KYLE GETZ

…Ssssspeaking of other people, is that really-

MIKE JOHNSON

No, the other hookup apps that are on the NYSE are Match and Bumble, which I didn’t know until this ‘cause those are for straight people and I don’t read the news about them. But uh, yeah, apparently Grindr had 11 million monthly users last year, and had a revenue growth of 30%, and it’s just- it’s really- it’s really interesting. There are very few stock ticker symbols that are that overtly and openly queer.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, and especially queer sex, like, that like sexual of a company is very interesting.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah. And plus, if it’s GRND, like, how many people think it’s “grind,” or, like, “ground,” or, what else could they might- Tatley-Grund, the elevator company? I just- I love the idea of, like, Republicans investing in Grindr not knowing what the ticker symbol means.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It’s part of a portfolio, [Mike laughs] and they accidentally own, like- They- Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Alright, that’s the news!

KYLE GETZ  

Um, speaking of people I’m bullish on, I would like to thank the following Patreon members. Why did- Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

Why did what happen?

KYLE GETZ

I- I heard myself say it, but like, in a delay, but not really, just in my head. I heard my sentence and I got confused. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here, and I’m excited, and I’m happy to be here, [Mike laughs] and everything’s wonderful. Thank you to: Beth McColl-

MIKE JOHNSON

Thanks, Beth.

KYLE GETZ

Thanks, Beth. Uh, James McQuillen, probably? Uh, josue Daniel Martinez-

MIKE JOHNSON

Ooo!

KYLE GETZ

Whoa! And Ben KyleCan’tPronounceThisName.

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Wait, is that what they wrote down?

KYLE GETZ

That’s what they wrote down.

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughing] Yes!

KYLE GETZ

All one word. KyleCan’tPronounceThisName. Thanks, Ben!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yes, Ben! Ben. Ben. Ben.

KYLE GETZ

Thank you. Join Patreon if you want. Patreon.com/gayishpodcast.

MIKE JOHNSON

Do it.

KYLE GETZ

Um, do you want to talk about selfies?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Let’s talk about selfies.

KYLE GETZ  

Do you- I mean-

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well, first.

KYLE GETZ

First.

MIKE JOHNSON

The reason we did this episode-

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

-I forgot, [Kyle chuckles] until just now.

KYLE GETZ

Oh.

MIKE JOHNSON

It’s because we got a bunch of photographs taken. Which, they came back and they are adorable, and so we’re gonna post some to our socials.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

They’re not selfies, they’re photographs, but that got us talking about photographs, and photography, and-

KYLE GETZ

and selfies is kind of gay. Like-

MIKE JOHNSON

Selfies is kind of gay, especially if the mirror is dirty and you’ve got no clothes on. But-

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, you- Oh my god, [Mike laughs] a top with no shirt and a dirty mirror is gonna fuck so good.

MIKE JOHNSON

You’re right.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Um, they just got, like, shit all over their sink counter, and it’s just like-

MIKE JOHNSON

Well, not literal shit. That’s-

KYLE GETZ

No, don’t- This is your PSA: don’t poop in your sink. [Mike laughs] Mike, let’s do better. [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON

Who are we?

KYLE GETZ

Let’s be better and do better. This is our first time being in person in a long time.

MIKE JOHNSON  

It’s also my fault ‘cause we’re recording on Monday instead of Sunday, because I was a zombie person yesterday after time zone bullshit.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, the time zone bullshit’s still strong, but-

KYLE GETZ  

I don’t know what my excuse is.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, yeah, we- And we’ve done things like- When a magazine interviewed us, they wanted to like, include us, and they were like, “Can you send us photos?” and it was like, “No, we cannot.” [both laugh] Someone actually just asked me for like a hi-res photo of myself, and I was like, I- So now we finally have things. So, that was a very useful thing, that we should’ve had. I feel like – okay, this relates to selfies and just gays in general – I feel like most gays put on this image of themselves. I think most other gay podcasts would have done this kind of thing to – I don’t know – because they want- because they’re a little bit narcissistic, or they want to pretend like they’re amazing, or they want any excuse to take nice photographs. Like, we’re five and a half years in and we’re like, “We should have pictures of us available.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. [both laugh] Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

So, I just feel like that’s part of the thing that I don’t fit, of like, wanting to have pictures of myself, or, like- I don’t know. I just don’t- This is not something I relate to about the gay community.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Well, and then, when our absolutely adorable photographer got here, and, [Kyle chuckles] like, whipped his camera out, both of us were like, “Oh, that’s- I don’t- I don’t like that.”

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Like, “That’s uncomfortable.”

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, it’s like-

MIKE JOHNSON

We clearly are bad at this. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Like, “Hey, I’m hot, I’m taking a picture of you,” and you’re like “What? Why?” Like, I don’t know-

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, thank you, to that- I didn’t- I mean- Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

What?

KYLE GETZ

I hated looking at our pictures.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh, okay. Well great. [Kyle laughs] I think they’re adorable.

KYLE GETZ  

Sure. You be the judge, listener.

MIKE JOHNSON  

No, I will be the judge.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, Mike will be- Mike has judged.

MIKE JOHNSON

They’re adorable.

KYLE GETZ

Okay, sure.

MIKE JOHNSON

I- Okay. Who are we, why are we here?

KYLE GETZ  

You’re doing- You’re probably doing the history.

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m gonna talk about the history of selfies, Kyle!

KYLE GETZ

That’s the dumbest sentence I’ve ever heard, [Mike laughs] but go on.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well-

KYLE GETZ

Sarah, where are you? [laughs]

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so first, I definitely want to calibrate on, what’s a selfie, Kyle?

KYLE GETZ  

I knew you would! God. Mike, we all know what a selfie is!

MIKE JOHNSON

What is it?

KYLE GETZ

It’s a picture you take yourself.

MIKE JOHNSON  

A picture you take of yourself. Do you have to operate the camera, or just be the- Like, if it’s on a timer, does that count?

KYLE GETZ  

Is this interesting, [laughs] is my big question.

MIKE JOHNSON

I think it is.

KYLE GETZ

If it- You do? Okay. Alright. Sure. Um-

MIKE JOHNSON

If I didn’t think it was interesting I wouldn’t talk about it, Kyle.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, you- You think everything you talk about is interesting?

MIKE JOHNSON  

[chuckles] Yes. Our pictures are fine, and I am amazing. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Huh. Okay. I guess- You know what? Alright. That’s fine. [chuckles] Okay- It is specifically, like, when you are holding the camera in your phone – nope – you’re holding the camera in your hand, and you’re taking a picture yourself. So it’s not, set it down and let me back away, it’s, like, you’re holding the phone in your hand and you’re taking a picture yourself.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

Predominantly to post onto social media. That’s what I think of a selfie as.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

What do you think of a selfie as?

MIKE JOHNSON

[sighs]

KYLE GETZ

Wow, that’s too deep a sigh for the definition of the word “selfie”. [laughs]

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. I mean, I definitely- I agree with you. Like, the modern definition of the word “selfie” is a smartphone, likely, taking a photograph with it in your hand as the executor. Although, selfie sticks count, even though you’re not touching the device, you’re touching a device that’s touching the device. Anyway. And yeah, that’s largely what the implied meaning is now, or whatever, but we’ve only had the ability to do that for so long, but we’ve been taking pictures of ourselves, like, since the very first day that photographs could be taken it’s been happening. And the guy that is largely given credit for inventing the selfie, [Kyle chuckles] taking a photograph of himself, is a dude named Robert Cornelius.

KYLE GETZ  

[in an old-timey, uptight, British(?) voice] Robert Cornelius!

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] Yep.

KYLE GETZ

God, he had generational wealth for sure.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, did he?

KYLE GETZ

I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah?

KYLE GETZ

[doing the voice again] I’m Robert Cornelius, I have a photograph and opinions on the lower class.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I mean, he’s American, so, you can- [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

[still doing the voice] And he’s- But he still talked like this! [speaking normally] And everyone’s like, “Who are you, Frasier? Like, why do you talk like that?”

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Why did he have an accent?

KYLE GETZ

[chuckling] I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON

Nobody knows. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ  

Anyone who’s done like Shakespeare, like, who- Like, people in Star Trek that also have like weird accents that you’re like, “You’re from Missouri. Like, you’re fine,” [Mike laughs] and you know what? I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON  

So, he took the first- he took the selfie in 1839.

KYLE GETZ

Damn.

MIKE JOHNSON

And the reason I think it counts as a selfie-

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

-is there was no timer.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

He actually had to, like, push the button on the camera, but it wasn’t a button. He made a daguerreotype. He had to, like, operate the camera manually, but it took so long to take pictures he just set the camera up, opened the lens, and then walked in front of the camera, and then had to stand still for – it’s estimated – at least three minutes, but more likely 10 to 15 minutes, perfectly still, to take this selfie.

KYLE GETZ  

Damn. And that’s, like- Even if it’s just three minutes, that’s a long time. To demonstrate how long that feels, we’re gonna be silent for three minutes, [Mike laughs] starting… now!

[6 seconds pass, with hushed laughter]

MIKE JOHNSON

[both laughing] I wager- I’m gonna wager that you think this is more interesting than me talking about anything that I have on my notes here. So.

KYLE GETZ

That’s the- I just realized [Mike laughing] that that’s the meanest insult I’ve ever accidentally done to you, and I’m kind of proud of myself.

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m proud of you too. Oh, that’s- that’s great.

KYLE GETZ

[laughing] Instead of whatever Mike’s saying. [Mike laughs]

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, God.

KYLE GETZ

No, no, no, no, no, I’m with you. I’m excited. You seem to be picking up on the timer thing as like a big- an important aspect of selfies, which I don’t think of, like, caring whether there’s a timer or not.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I think that I keep running into the word “selfie” being used to mean any picture in which the owner of the camera is in it, regardless of how it was taken, and it kind of frustrates me, because I’m pedantic and that shit pisses me off.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

So people are like, “Let’s take a selfie,” and then they set their phone up, and they put the timer on, and then they hit it, and then they get in a big group photo. That’s not a fucking selfie, it’s a group photo that you took with a timer!

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

You whore.

KYLE GETZ  

I- [laughs] Wow. [Mike laughs] But, you can take a selfie with, like, with one other person. Like, how many people before it’s not a selfie?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay, okay, okay. This is- I meant to talk about this later.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, sorry. We can- We can go in your order.

MIKE JOHNSON

No, no, no, no.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON  

No. So- So “selfie”-

KYLE GETZ  

3 minutes is up… now! [chuckles] I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Great. Great. Huawei Technologies, which is a company that makes cell phones in China-

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

-actually [chuckles] owns the trademark on the term “groufie”- 

KYLE GETZ  

Ewwww.

MIKE JOHNSON  

-because they were trying to say that any selfie that is of a group of people is a groufie, and they- they trademarked it in 2014. That’s about when the modern use of the word “selfie” was becoming all the rage.

KYLE GETZ

2014? Huh!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, yeah. They say 2012 or 2013 is like the year of the selfie, in terms of, like, it entering the lexicon.

KYLE GETZ

I thought it was before that.

MIKE JOHNSON

But, uh, Huawei- [chuckles] Huawei trademarked the term “groufie” to mean more than just the person taking the picture in it. And another term, that Samsung tried to trademark, was a “wefie”. Like, “We are taking a selfie,” it’s a we-fie. Those are awful and you should not have paid for them, either company.

KYLE GETZ  

Nooo. No. But like, when you’re a big company that has bunch of money, like, I would probably just trademark random shit. I would, like, mash letters like I’m a cat walking over a keyboard, and be like, “Cool. This is what I’m trademarking now, because I’m bored and have tons of money. I’m a corporation.” [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah. They’ve got to park all these domains-

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

-and hope that somebody- somebody named Woodriblahblah [Kyle laughs] becomes really famous someday.

KYLE GETZ  

Ah, he’s my new favorite musical artist, is Woodrbvbahbadah. [laughs]

MIKE JOHNSON  

[laughs] Woodriblahblah.com; I own it, bitch. Deal with that.

KYLE GETZ  

Can you imagine the frustration, where you’re like, “No one will have my domain. It’s me, Woodrbabahbadablah”? [both laugh] Um, I had the same question about sex: How many people until it’s a group… or a groufie?

MIKE JOHNSON

Three.

KYLE GETZ

I think it’s four. I don’t think three is a group.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Because we have a name for it, and that’s “a threesome”?

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, kind of. But still, I think- That doesn’t feel groupish to me.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay. Alright.

KYLE GETZ

I think it has to be four- I’ve said this about the porn one before, if you are looking for group sex and you find three people, like, you’re kind of annoyed, you know?

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Okay.

KYLE GETZ

It’s like, that’s- Wait- No, I- Group. So I think that’s a good measure of, like, what’s a group. I think it has to be four or more.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay. Is- Okay.

KYLE GETZ

There’s gonna be a poll on our Instagram about if- [laughs] what constitutes a group.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. How many people do you need to take pictures of a group sex situation?

KYLE GETZ  

[laughs] How many times can you say “groufie” before it catches on? [Mike laughs] The limit does not exist.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh, no. Stop trying to make fetch happen. [Kyle laughs] Umm… Okay, okay, okay, okay.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

So, to your point that you just made a little bit ago-

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] I made a point somewhere in there?

MIKE JOHNSON

-the first use of the word selfie in anywhere that we can find was on an Australian Internet forum on 13th of September 2002.

KYLE GETZ

Ohhh.

MIKE JOHNSON

There’s a guy named Karl Kruszelnicki.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, that’s pretty much what we were saying! [Mike laughs] Like, that’s- Someone named him by mashing the keyboard for sure.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. It was a Polish keyboard, but yes. [Kyle laughs] Um, but he runs the Dr Karl’s Self Serve Science Forum- [TN: Self Service, not Self Serve]

KYLE GETZ

Okay. [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON

-and a dude named Nathan Hope posted to that forum, and said, quote, “Um, drunk at a mates 21st, I tripped…” “…and landed lip first (with front teeth coming a very close second) on a set of steps. I had a hole about 1cm long right through my bottom lip. And sorry about the focus, it was a selfie.” That’s the earliest we can find.

KYLE GETZ  

God, if I invented something as big as the word “selfie”, or I’m the first, like, thing you find, I’d be bragging. Like, that would be in my Twitter bio. I would be, like, bragging about.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well, somebody tracked Mr. Hope down – Nathan Hope down – and asked him, and he said “I did not coin the term.” He said, quote, it was “something that was just common slang at the time, used to describe a picture of yourself.” So we don’t actually- Like, nobody invented it. It was enough- It was invented enough that he just threw it out there in this forum post and figured that people would already know what he meant.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Man, good for him, being honest. I- God, I- No, I- I don’t know. I would- I just want…

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think, if somebody comes to you and says, “Did you make this cultural phenomenon happen? We think you did,” then say “Yes.” [laughing]

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Oh, you have proof- You have no proof that anyone else said it before?

MIKE JOHNSON & KYLE GETZ

[in unison] Then yes!

MIKE JOHNSON

I did that! Fuck you, pay me! [both laugh]

KYLE GETZ  

I was just gonna say, like, I want attention and recognition enough that I would probably say yes to that, but I don’t know if that’s true or if that’s just fake-me talking right now.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay, so, there is- Going back to the history stuff, and then I’ll end the segment. There was a woman in the year… we think it was 1900, we don’t know her name, but it’s a very, very old picture, and she is holding a camera taking a picture of herself via a mirror. And, if you don’t think that dude, the first dude, Cornelius, took the- if you don’t think that counted is a selfie because he walked away from the camera, this bitch was actually holding the camera, pushed the button, picture of herself in a mirror. So we’ve been doing this shit for 122 years or whatever, so.

KYLE GETZ  

We always say that gay culture comes- like, starts with women or something.

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Right?

KYLE GETZ

Like, a woman was the first gay man to take a picture [laughs] in the mirror.

MIKE JOHNSON  

[laughing] Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, there’s a dude named Thomas Eakins who did a bunch of work. It’s controversial whether he was gay or not, but his- a lot of his photography was of naked dudes, and naked dudes doing stuff. He took a whole bunch of selfies in which he was posing with a woman, and that has led to a lot of academic analysis of, like, “Was this dude gay, or not?” and I think it’s interesting. We make this point all the time; nobody seems to be asking the question, “Well, maybe he was bi?” But he took a lot of pictures of naked people, and- including himself. A lot of- A lot of- But that’s the first, like, probably gay naked-selfie-taker that I could find in all of the history of it.

KYLE GETZ

Hm, Interesting. When was that?

MIKE JOHNSON

His name is Thomas Eakins, and his- most of his career was started in the in the 1870s. A lot of the stuff that I’m talking about with the nudity, and the ladies, and stuff, was in 1883, and uh-

KYLE GETZ

1883…

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, yeah.

KYLE GETZ  

That’s a long time ago.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Boy howdy. [Kyle chuckles] [Mike sighs] Well, you know- As long as- Every media form, at least every visual media form, the dicks have led, fairly early on.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Dicks and boobs have been like-

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

-at the vanguard, right?

KYLE GETZ

Yep. Yep, yep.

MIKE JOHNSON

Ummm, okay. In 1934, a Swedish couple use a wooden stick to take a picture of themselves, [Kyle gasps] and the New York Times called that the original selfie stick.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, I-

MIKE JOHNSON

Go ahead.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, I say that a selfie stick is a dildo.

MIKE JOHNSON  

That’s the funniest joke you’ve written.

KYLE GETZ

[laughs] Really?

MIKE JOHNSON

I think about that all the time.

KYLE GETZ

[laughing] Really?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yes. I find you mildly amusing most of the time-

KYLE GETZ

[laughing] At times. Okay, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

-and that is fucking hilarious. Um- Oh, okay. The OED picked- So, then, all of the stuff that I was saying about this blog, and the invention of the word, it was added to the OED in 2013. It was officially added as a Scrabble word, and that’s how you know you’ve made it-

KYLE GETZ

Wow, even scrabble.

MIKE JOHNSON

-in 2014.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, uh, it’s been with us ever since. Duck faces, and apparently bear faces, and all. 

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. We just learned about bear- I did not know about “bear face” until Derek informed me today.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. I’m gonna have to practice both, I guess, now.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. I didn’t know bears had a face.

MIKE JOHNSON

Do photo booths count?

KYLE GETZ

No.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great. That- [Kyle laughs] Now we don’t have to talk about Japanese culture in the 90s, or the fact that the Gameboy had a selfie camera on it.

KYLE GETZ

Really?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Anyway-

KYLE GETZ  

Do you count photo booths?

MIKE JOHNSON

I don’t think so.

KYLE GETZ

It’s just such a specific, different, thing. When I think “selfie”, that’s not what I’m picturing.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Right. Yeah. And selfies also are sort of- The modern connotation of the word “selfie” is sort of attached to social media,

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

-and photos have been around for fucking ever, so I have a hard time thinking that they count because of that.

KYLE GETZ  

Did the word “selfie” run away from us when boomers started hearing about it? Like, I could picture that being something, like, we were using in a specific way, and then boomers hear about something and they’re like, [doing an old person voice] “Oh, look, I took a selfie,” and it’s a photo of their dog or something.

MIKE JOHNSON  

So if you think of a- the success of a selfie as being tied to how it did on Twitter, [Kyle chuckles] the two biggest selfies that caught this wave were: Barack Obama took a selfie and posted it to Twitter the night that he was elected-

KYLE GETZ

Oooo.

MIKE JOHNSON

-and then Ellen DeGeneres took a selfie with a fuck-ton of celebrities in the background when she hosted the Oscars. So, they’re not quite boomer, right?

KYLE GETZ

Right.

KYLE GETZ

But they’re definitely- they weren’t spring chickens. They weren’t teenagers, Snapchatting around. Like, they-

KYLE GETZ  

They weren’t A-list like Selena Gomez.

MIKE JOHNSON  

So they- [laughs] They sort of- Yeah, selfies, I think, maybe that’s when they jumped the shark. I don’t know.

KYLE GETZ  

Mhm, mhm. Hm! Can I tell you some of the gayta?

MIKE JOHNSON  

I want to hear the gayta.

KYLE GETZ

Okay, this is-

MIKE JOHNSON

Are selfies gay?

KYLE GETZ

Are selfies gay? I don’t- [both laugh] That’s an interesting question, Mike, the question I’m gonna answer.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great, okay.

KYLE GETZ

Okay, are selfie-takers narcissistic?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yes. Great segment. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Honestly. Honestly, if we wanted to boil it down. Okay, so I looked up- I’m gonna tell you about some of the studies and some of the journeys that I took along the way to some information. So, I don’t- This is- Thank you for that history, Mike.

MIKE JOHNSON

Sure.

KYLE GETZ

I appreciate you, and your segments.

MIKE JOHNSON

You’re welcome. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

Because now, here, I’m about to do something that’s like, this is interesting to me, and maybe not anyone, [chuckles] so I can’t be too mean. I was just very mean to you about your choices, but I’ve made choices too.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Here’s the thing: they’re gonna continue.

KYLE GETZ  

I know, right? [Mike laughs] For both of us. Um, look, during our segment I drew a fish. Okay! Umm, so-

MIKE JOHNSON

Is it taking a selfie?

KYLE GETZ

It- No, I colored- I don’t know what it is. Or it could be a lady dancing. [gasps]

MIKE JOHNSON  

Is it a Jesus fish?

KYLE GETZ  

[chuckles] Yeah. Oh, that’s the other update, I’ve converted.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great.

KYLE GETZ

Umm, studies. This is- Apparently it is, like, a big thing, in the 10s and 20s of this millennia – that sounds weird to say – in this decade and the previous one, people have been doing a lot of research into whether people that take selfies are narcissistic.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

And, I learned a little bit about narcissism in general. I didn’t- I was unaware that there are, like, not- There’s a narcissistic personality disorder.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

But different than that, just as a personality trait, is narcissism, and that’s what I’m talking about, not the disorder.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I mean, we’re all narcissistic, right? It’s a spectrum. Like, it’s just a- It’s only a problem if it gets past the level of you being an asshole.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. I mean, there’s a healthy level of narcissism, of caring about yourself, and like that’s useful. There are two types that are, like, maybe there are a bunch more types, but studies broke down the- typically they were focused on grandiose narcissists, which is the kind that you generally think of.

MIKE JOHNSON

[fake coughs] Trump.

KYLE GETZ

Elon Musk. [Mike chuckles] Um, yep. Things that characterize them: aggression, dominance, superiority, entitlement. These are all the words that definitions would use for that. The other type though that they mentioned, I did not think of this, they’re kind of different venues to narcissism. One is, vulnerable narcissism.

MIKE JOHNSON

Ooo.

KYLE GETZ

Also called hypersensitive narcissism, or covert narcissism. It is hypersensitivity to the opinions of others, and intense desire for approval, defensiveness for any kind of critique. There- It’s almost like- It felt, to me, I was like, [doing a nasally voice] “Eugh, I… have this.” [Mike laughs] There’s like a- There’s a self-centeredness to social anxiety that I have, is like “Oh, everyone’s watching me.” There is, like, some level of, like, narcissism. I was like, “No, not everyone is watching you or gives a shit about all the things you do day-to-day.” There’s a weird- It’s weird, because I both have a very low – generally, I’m working on it – low opinion of myself, but also think that everyone cares about me, or is staring at me, or whatever. So I’ve- This is the first time I’ve seen like a definition that is, like- combines those in, like, the way that kind of makes sense to me.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, sure, okay.

KYLE GETZ

So, this is more focused on the grandiose narcissists.

MIKE JOHNSON

The ones we think of.

KYLE GETZ

The ones you think of, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The study “‘Selfie-ists’ or ‘Narci-selfiers’?:” – wow, that’s a mouthful – “A cross-lagged panel analysis of selfie taking and narcissism”, in 2016, they proposed there was a self-reinforcement effect, and that narcissistic individuals take selfies more frequently over time, and that increase in taking selfies raises their level of narcissism. So it’s this feedback loop that increases both narcissism and the number of selfies that they take.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Another study, called “Narcissism and problematic use of social media: A systematic literature review”, [TN: Proper title is “Narcissism and problematic social media use: A systematic literature review”] in 2020, talked about some of the reasons that social media is good for grandiose narcissists, is they have control over their presentation, so you are, unlike a social interaction, you are in complete control over what you are presenting to people.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep, yep.

KYLE GETZ

You advertise your success, and- You can advertise your success, and you get visible rewards in response.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

And it’s accessible because so many of us have phones, with the internet, you can do it from wherever. So you can get this kind of validation wherever you are.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep, yep.

KYLE GETZ

So, generally, like, I’ve looked at a bunch of different studies, and generally, like, yes. The answer is yes, people- when you take selfies it is- people are- People that take selfies are narcissistic.

MIKE JOHNSON  

What surprises me about all of that though is the feedback loop. Like, the fact that it’s not just, like, this is a thing narcissists are drawn to, but that it’s a thing that can make them worse-

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

-or maybe make a person who isn’t narcissistic enough to be an asshole, become an asshole.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s- I don’t know. In my head, I have this, like, weird – not weird – I have this belief that, like, people are just fundamentally broken-

KYLE GETZ

[laughs] Oh, God.

MIKE JOHNSON

-and that they don’t really ever change, and, so that smacks up against that a little bit.

KYLE GETZ  

No, social media breaks you.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, I guess so.

KYLE GETZ  

I mean, if you think about if, like, people can-

MIKE JOHNSON  

Wreck me, daddy. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Wreck me, Twitter! Ruin my ego.

MIKE JOHNSON  

[sighs] Oh, God. Is that what you named your hole. [both laugh] Your ego?

KYLE GETZ 

My ego? Wreck me in the ego. There is more to selfies than just narcissism though.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

So, I looked at a study called “This Is Who I Am: The Selfie as a Personal and Social Identity Marker”, in 2019. It said, quote, “Based on social identity theory, this survey of young adults examined how selfies signify forms of personal and social identity.” So, I didn’t know what social identity theory is. I’m going to take a brief trip to social-identity-theory-land because this is, like- I don’t know why- how, in five and a half years we have not talked about it, because this literally is like the basis of why stereotypes exist.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

This is like the theory and the, like, social constructs that make stereotypes happen. [chuckles] So, an article that gave an overview of this was on Simply Psych-o-logy…

MIKE JOHNSON  

Simply psycho-logy? [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

That’s not how you say that word. I was- I needed to read the full word first before I realized which one this was.

MIKE JOHNSON

Take another run at it.

KYLE GETZ

Simplepsychology.org. [TN: it’s simplypsychology.org]

MIKE JOHNSON

Nailed it.

KYLE GETZ

Got it. [both chuckle] I think I’m good.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, great. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

I’m not- I’m not broken. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m good. Do I- Do you want to keep doing this, like, in general? [Mike laughs] Do you think this is a good idea?

MIKE JOHNSON

I don’t know.

KYLE GETZ

Are we a good idea? Okay. [takes a deep breath and slowly releases it] [clears throat] I need to do my warmups again. [hums a partial scale] The portion of an individual- The definition, is the portion of an individual’s self-concept derived from perceived memberships in relevant social groups. This theory was proposed by social psychologists Henri Tajfel and John Turner in the 1970s and 80s. They proposed that stereotyping, meaning putting people into groups and categories, is based on a normal- Stereotypes, we categorize people, as a normal process. We categorize things, that’s how our brains work, that’s how we make sense of the world, so it’s important, it’s a normal process. We have a tendency to group people together in this cognitive process, and in doing so we exaggerate the differences between groups and the similarities between things within the same group, which, that, I mean, I think I’ve been- I feel like recently I’ve particularly been talking about how, like, you- A study finds that someone is more likely to do a thing, and then we’re like, “Oh, everyone does that.” I think that’s- I think that comes from- I think this is in that same realm of overly-assuming that everyone does a thing within a group, overly-assuming similarities.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah, that overused saying about “Most stereotypes are grounded in some kind of truth.”

KYLE GETZ  

Yes, yes. And oftentimes, I mean, we do see so many stereotypes that are based on something, some kind of truth.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

And there are three stages of the evaluation process. First, the social categorization. That’s the categorization we do to understand ourselves and others, and we start to learn group norms. The second step is social identification. We adopt the identity of the group we are in, we start to act in the way that meets the expectations of the group, we get emotionally invested, it is emotionally significant to us to be a part of that group, and our self-esteem becomes tied to that group. And then social comparison. So we compare our group to other groups, and there’s a desire for our group to remain favorable, to have good- present well, be good, and- because we belong to it.

MIKE JOHNSON

Be good

KYLE GETZ

Be good. [Mike laughs] So, I-

MIKE JOHNSON  

That’s exactly what we talk about all the time, right? Like, the things that we did when we were first entering the gay community that we felt like we needed to, because that’s what the gay community was about. Like, there’s another- Like, there’s a feedback loop there as well, right?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah. And it’s- Yes. Yeah. And this is like, oh, this is the, like, this is the theory that is the foundation of exactly what we’re talking about, so I felt like I wanted to include that. Yeah. And I do think that- Exactly. We said, like, I think especially when you come out you don’t feel- Like, being LGBT, like, you- I don’t think you automatically am like, “Cool. I’m in the community,” I feel like when you’re coming out you’re like, “Eugh, I’m allowed- Am I allowed to call myself part of the community, or not?”

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Like, you don’t- Like, okay, even once you’ve accepted that you’re gay, it feels like another step to get to, like, “Okay, I belong. I feel confident saying I’m in it,” I think that takes some time, and I think that- So that’s the like, social identification, that second step where you start to become a part of the group. And yeah, you’re learning what other people are doing, because it’s a new group that you are- you were not born believing you’re a part of this group. Oftentimes, you know, it’s when you’re older and you don’t know the norms, and, yeah, you start to pick up what other people are doing, and believe that you have to do certain things to be part of it.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

So, yeah, this- Like, we should have an entire- We should have someone smart on, to actually describe the social identity theory, because that’s, like, that’s literally we talk about.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

So, back to the study.

MIKE JOHNSON

Back to the study.

KYLE GETZ

The study was saying that- it’s part of the reason this came up. It is based on social identity theory that people take selfies to show their personal and social identities. So, some of the actual findings that I thought were fun to share: participants reported they take selfies to say something about who they are, to connect with others, to feel better about themselves, and to feel empowered. That’s what the finding was. There’s like, over 400 people they surveyed, and those were the things that- the reasons why people take selfies. I never feel better about myself when I take a selfie. What do- Do you? I guess we haven’t talked about, like, whether we do this or not. We can. Do you take selfies, often? Do you like them? How do you feel about them?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Not- Not often. Sometimes. I find that I tend to- they go in clusters. Like, I’ll go through a week where like, I take a few, and then I won’t for a really long time. I don’t take a lot of pictures in general, and I don’t know if that’s a Gen X thing or what, but like, traveling around- Like, I just got back from this crazy whirlwind tour of the of the world. All the pictures- Marci took all the pictures, right?

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, I followed- I followed because you just, on Instagram, reposted her picture. That’s how I, like, figure out what you were doing.

MIKE JOHNSON  

It’s just not my first instinct. It’s just not.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, um- But I’m not- It’s not like I don’t.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

You know, I just don’t very often.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. I was- Do you- So, during those phases where do you do take it, do you- what is the reason? Do any of those fit with you, uh, “say something about who they are, connect with others, feel better about themselves, feel empowered,” do any of those those?

MIKE JOHNSON  

[sighs] I mean, usually it’s when I’m feeling good about myself, and I want to share that I feel good about myself with other people.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

You know. And more of those- More of those pictures are- I hesitate to use the word “validation.” I guess that, strictly speaking, it is validation. It’s, “I think I look good, I took a good picture, don’t you think so too, everybody?”

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah, there’s a reason that, like, you could just take that picture, feel good, and move on and not post it, but then you post it, so clearly there’s something that we’re getting out of that step.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right. Right.

KYLE GETZ

But I would- I would imagine you doing it in a more healthy way than most. Like, you don’t depend on that valid- Like, you have healthy self-esteem that, like, you don’t need people to like it. Like, do you feel bad if like, only a few people like a picture?

MIKE JOHNSON

No.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, God. [Mike laughs] I wish. Good for you.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I mean, I just don’t. Like- And there are people in my life, because of the fraternity, who are younger than you, and, like-

KYLE GETZ  

That’s mean.

MIKE JOHNSON

Well. [both laugh]

KYLE GETZ

Don’t remind me people exist that are younger than me.

MIKE JOHNSON  

…Who seem to genuinely experience horrible psychological effects to having things not be as successful as they need them to be when they post them online.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, like, I worry about them. Like, I worry about it. And- Anyway.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know who you’re talking about.

MIKE JOHNSON

Well- [laughs] It’s okay, he doesn’t listen.

KYLE GETZ

So does he- Oh, okay, never mind. It looked at different groups. Again, this is the social identification, or, social identity, theory, so it talked about various groups. Women and LGBTQ people were more likely to report taking selfies to feel empowered. So I thought- Again, I don’t- I don’t usually feel empowered when I take a selfie, but I’m also not everyone. LGBTQ participants were also more likely to use activist and political events as selfie contexts-

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

-and to engage in online activism.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

That’s for sure. I mean, we- midterm voting, we just saw a bunch of people, like, I saw someone put the “I Voted” sticker on their ass and take a picture that.

MIKE JOHNSON

Excellent. Excellent!

KYLE GETZ

Like, you know, people definitely use the “I Voted” sticker and selfie as a way to promote voting, and I- I’m so jaded about- and I’m like, “You don’t actually care about voting, you just found a socially acceptable way to put out your selfie. I don’t think you actually-“ I think people are like, [in a mocking voice] “Oh, this is acceptable right now. Cool. Here’s my selfie.”

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. There’s probably some of both, right?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

They’re probably people who’ve never voted in their life, but they know that this is the week for stickers on your ass. And-

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah. Some dude I met, like, once, and am friends with on Facebook – you know, like five years ago or whatever – and I’m still friends with, he posts like a reading list, and every time he does like a shirtless selfie, because he knows that’s gonna get the engagement, and then he talks about like books or something nerdy.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great. Excellent.

KYLE GETZ

And so, like, I think people do use- they know that- Especially hot people, you know, that this will help the- like, improve.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

We- And this is something that we don’t- This is another part where, like, we don’t fit in with a lot of people. Like, a lot of people would be posting a ton of themselves, and that tends to get- Even our Instagram, if we post a picture of ourselves that gets far more likes than anything else, but we don’t- it’s just not our- I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, yeah, because people are stupid. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

[chuckles] Yeah. Um, I just wanted to read this, the last thing that I will say about the study: quote, “the findings indicate that potentially marginalized groups can use selfies to say something about who they are and, in doing so, feel a sense of affirmation, connection, and empowerment. This goes against the perception that taking selfies is a frivolous, narcissistic practice with little meaning or value.” So there’s more- I just- Anytime I see a selfie, I just go right to “narcissistic”, and there’s clearly something to that, but there is more going on there that is not purely negative.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Part of that is, you know, a sense of belonging, a sense of empowerment. You know, I assume for gay people, like, back to that, that like, that’s- as gays do that, take selfies, then that’s the behavior, that’s the norm. You know. So, yeah, there’s more going on with selfies.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. I mean, two people can do exactly the same thing, and- for very different, internal reasons, and they’re the only ones that know which is true, right?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Or I can even do the same thing in two different- at two different times, and one time it’s healthy, and the other time it’s not, right?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Like, I fucking destroyed an entire pizza yesterday, [Kyle laughs] when I got home, and it was intentional, and I didn’t feel bad, and I was hungry and didn’t want to go anywhere. I have no food in the house because I was on vacation. Fast forward, like, six weeks from now, if I destroy an entire pizza I’ll feel awful about myself, and, like, you know, just go in a death spiral of guilt and shame about it.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

So, like, consuming a pizza isn’t immediately indicative of what’s going on, internally.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Some selfies are, and maybe most selfies are, born out of this, like, narcissist thing, but…

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. I mean, you are right that I don’t take enough selfies with pizzas.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right?

KYLE GETZ

I think that’s true.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, a lot of my life is spent with pizza, [Mike laughs] so I feel like I haven’t adequately demonstrated that online.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Share your love of your life with everyone.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Right?

MIKE JOHNSON

Your dog, and pizza. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

My dog, and pizza; what more do you need in life? I fucking hate how the thing is when it’s someone’s birthday, when someone dies, like, you post a picture of you and the person. It’s like- It’s so- Like, you don’t need to post a picture of yourself when it’s someone else’s birthday. I think I did this, like, last year on your birthday, I just posted a picture of myself and wrote “Happy Birthday, Mike,” because I thought it was really funny. [laughs]

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s fantastic.

KYLE GETZ

Like, I don’t know that anyone- Like, maybe people don’t know- I don’t think anyone else thought it was funny, but I did. [Mike laughs] It’s just like, what the fu- How- That seems so narcissistic to me, to be like, [doing a mocking voice] “Look at me, I’m with you,” and, you know. I dunno.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah.

KYLE GETZ  

I see gays doing that all the time.

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m with you. Yeah, that makes sense.

KYLE GETZ

We also need it for our apps, we need updated pictures for the app, so.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Let’s do that.

KYLE GETZ

Do what?

MIKE JOHNSON

Take updated pictures for apps.

KYLE GETZ

Ohh.

MIKE JOHNSON

I owe everybody an app makeover episode! It’s on the list, everybody! We’re gonna make it happen.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. I’m- There are some interesting things that we have to talk about for your app makeover episode that-

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Okay.

KYLE GETZ

It’s on the list.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Are you ready?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

We’re gonna play a game.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

I stole this idea.

KYLE GETZ

[gasps] Ooo.

MIKE JOHNSON

Totally stole this idea from Chris Haigy from the We Read Movies podcast.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, hey Chris.

MIKE JOHNSON

It’s a slightly different variation on it, but it’s a “Wait, Is That For Real?!” is what we’re gonna play.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m going to read you six selfie deaths, and you’re going to tell me which five of them are real and which one of them I made up.

KYLE GETZ  

[quietly] Should- I have- I have information about selfie deaths.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, do you wanna do that first?

KYLE GETZ

No, no, no, I’ll do that after.

MIKE JOHNSON

Are you sure?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Uh, and then, I do have stuff on how to take a selfie, and maybe we’ll save that for Patreon.

MIKE JOHNSON

Ooo, yeah. I need help, girl.

KYLE GETZ  

I- Me too! [Mike laughs] Um, Chris Haigy, speaking of selfies.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

…That was the end of my thought.

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Okay, great.

KYLE GETZ

He just takes a bunch of ‘em.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. I mean, why not?

KYLE GETZ  

I- I mean, you know, it works for him.

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Are you ready?

KYLE GETZ

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

MIKE JOHNSON  

One of the six of these is fake, I made it up.

KYLE GETZ

Okay. Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

The others are real.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

And then maybe we can talk about, like, the shit people do, like, to get a good selfie.

KYLE GETZ

Okay. Yeah, eugh.

MIKE JOHNSON

Number one, a Polish couple fell to their death off a cliff in Portugal after crossing a safety barrier to take a selfie with their children. Their two children, who were present at the scene, survived-

KYLE GETZ

Oh my-

MIKE JOHNSON

-and watched their parents die. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

You can’t- You’re gonna have to laugh like 80% less during this segment, Mike. [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON

Great.

KYLE GETZ

Holy shit. Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Number two, two young men died in the Ural Mountains. They pulled a pin from a live hand grenade and took a selfie with it. The phone with the picture is- [laughing] is the only evidence of their deaths that survived.

KYLE GETZ  

Mike, why are you laughing so much?!

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughing] I don’t know.

KYLE GETZ

You can’t- [chuckles] I guess ‘cause it’s horrifying, or- I’m trying to give you credit here. That’s- Okay. Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Number three, a 21-year-old man from Yogyakarta fell into the crater of the volcano Mount Merapi while attempting to take a selfie, and died in the volcano.

KYLE GETZ  

It was so hard for you not to laugh during that.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep.

KYLE GETZ

Okay. Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Number four, a 63-year-old Bollywood celebrity died when an OR nurse attempted to take a selfie during an abdominal surgery [Kyle gasps] and dropped her phone into his body cavity, causing a severe bleed.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

Number five, five intoxicated teenagers lied down in the middle of the road near an airport to take a selfie with a plane landing in the background. It was at night, and a truck driver did not see them and accidentally ran them over, killing two of them. [Kyle gasps] And number six, a Chinese businessman at a local wildlife park in the city of Rongcheng, Shandong province, was drowned by a walrus after taking several selfies and videos with the animal. A zookeeper was- also drowned in the same incident, after attempting to save the man.

KYLE GETZ  

Jesus Christ. If only one of those is fake [Mike laughs] that means the other five are real, so like, that’s too many of those to be real.

MIKE JOHNSON

Exactly, yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Okay, I have two that I’m waffling between.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

One is, [quietly doing a voice] oh! I should take a selfie with waffles. Um, one is, I think you were just on an airplane a bunch, so flying around, so it’d make sense if your invented one was the airplane one, because that’d be connected to what you- The other one is, like, a Seinfeld episode. Like, they- Instead of a Junior Mint it’s a phone though, but like, that- That’s a- Oh, you don’t like Seinfeld, so you don’t watch that, [Mike laughs] so you didn’t- If you made it up you didn’t- You didn’t see Seinfeld to have based that off of. Okay, I’m gonna go the airplane one.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay. The fake one was the dropping the phone into the surgery one.

KYLE GETZ  

[gasps] Ah, fuck! Man! [Mike laughs] That means the grenade one was real? That means the kids watched- I should have guessed that one, because I didn’t want that to be real. The kids watched their parents die?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Can you imagine? I can’t. Holy shit.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep. Yep.

KYLE GETZ

That’s traumatic. That’s a trauma, baby.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I have- I have round two. Are you ready for a round two?

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, God. Okay. [Mike chuckles] [sighs] Yes.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well, okay, of those first ones, uh-

KYLE GETZ  

The grenade one?!

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

KYLE GETZ  

Don’t pull a- Even if you think it’s fake, don’t. Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Uh, I- There were a whole bunch of them. I found a whole list – right? – and then I culled them down to the ones that I wanted to, like, include in here, and there were lots and lots and lots of them, of people who are obsessed with taking selfies with guns, who then, like, pull the wrong trigger and shoot themselves-

KYLE GETZ

Oh my god.

MIKE JOHNSON

-taking a selfie. I mean, lots.

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, anyway.

KYLE GETZ  

I would imagine there’d be a lot of falling to your death ones too.

MIKE JOHNSON  

And a lot of them are falls, yeah, yep, yeah. Okay… A walrus? Like, [Kyle laughs] who takes- Who tries to take selfie with a walrus?! Like-

KYLE GETZ  

I mean, anyone would. That seems like good selfie material.

MIKE JOHNSON

They are terrifying!

KYLE GETZ

I- There are so many where, like, there’s an animal, and I’m like, I would not be- I even saw it- Like, I posted a video, like, there were squirrels right by me in the park recently, and I was like- I think I was nervous they were gonna bite me. I always think everything’s evil and is gonna bite me.

MIKE JOHNSON

I mean-

KYLE GETZ

In a bad way.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Okay, round two. You ready?

KYLE GETZ

Okay, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Number one, in a remote area of Utah the desiccated skeleton of a 26-year-old hiker was found holding a cell phone. Data from the phone was retrieved, and showed the man taking several selfies with a rattlesnake, [Kyle gasps] including a final picture in which the snake bit him on the face. [chuckles] Number two, a 22-year-old student of Kherva[‘s] Ganpat University in Gujarat, India, climbed a glass dome on the third-floor terrace of a building to take a selfie. The fragile glass collapsed, [Kyle gasps] and she plunged 70 feet to the ground floor and was killed. Selfies were subsequently banned at the school.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh, number three, police said Taraknath Makal was traveling by train with four friends, all aged between 25 and 30 years. When he reportedly leaned out of the door to take a selfie he lost his footing and fell off the train, so his friends jumped out to save them, but got ran down by another train coming from the opposite direction.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, God. That’s my nightmare.

MIKE JOHNSON  

[chuckles] Number four, in Zagreb, Croatia a 14-year-old boy climbed onto the roof of a train cargo wagon where he wanted to take a selfie, he grabbed a wire and was electrocuted, and his body apparently burned like a torch. Firefighters were unable to take action until the trains power was turned off.

KYLE GETZ

Burned like- Oh, God, a 4-year-old. Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh, 14. 14.

KYLE GETZ

Number five, five passengers aboard a sightseeing helicopter with its doors off, drowned after a passenger tried to take a shoe selfie – which I had to look up, it’s when you take a- point and take a picture of your feet – tried to take a shoe selfie and fell out, and their safety tether got caught on the emergency fuel shutoff lever, killing the engine to the helicopter which then [laughs] fell into the river.

KYLE GETZ

Ugh, Mike, stop it.

MIKE JOHNSON

And number six, a boat overloaded with 20 people in a reservoir in Central Java capsized when the passengers all suddenly moved to one side of the boat for a selfie- for a group selfie. The boat was being driven by a 13-year-old. Nine of the passengers drowned, including two children.

KYLE GETZ  

Hooo- Okay. I hate the one where the kid lit up like whatever you said, I don’t- I- But, God, that seems too cruel for you to make up. [Mike laughs] That seems mean. I’m gonna go the- You were just in India as well, and so there’s one in India, climbing on a building, I’m gonna say you saw that building or read about that building in India, and so that gave you the idea, so I’m gonna go the India one.

MIKE JOHNSON

There were two in India.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, the glass dome. Oh, what was-

MIKE JOHNSON  

The glass dome one? Okay. Yeah, there’s the glass dome one, and then there’s the jump off the train to save your friend but get run over by a train going the other direction.

KYLE GETZ  

Ohhhh, well then it’s one of these two, because you’re asking for clarification. I’m gonna- Eh. Okay, I’m gonna switch it, I’m gonna pick the different- the other door. I’m gonna go train-jumping-off-of.

MIKE JOHNSON

The Monty Hall problem.

KYLE GETZ

The Monty Hall problem.

MIKE JOHNSON

Except, I am not Monty Hall. It was the rattlesnake one.

KYLE GETZ

Ohhhhh.

MIKE JOHNSON

The hiker that got bit in the face by a rattlesnake. That was based on one that actually happened, but it wasn’t a death, it was just an injury.

KYLE GETZ

Eugh.

MIKE JOHNSON

So, the one that really sticks out to me out of all of these is the one of, like, “Okay everybody, get together for a selfie!” on a boat, and the fucking boat tips over because everybody runs- Like, people- You say “selfie,” “group selfie,” people don’t pay attention at all, they just fucking do it.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Like, I just- I- That one is so visceral to me, I could see it happen. I have a fear of boats, and people, groups of people on boats, and groups of people on escalators. Get the fuck out of the way, there are people behind you!

KYLE GETZ  

Ohh. The inability of some people to, like- You must continue forward!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yes!

KYLE GETZ

Like, that is a requirement! 

MIKE JOHNSON  

Don’t- Like, and places are designed real bad so that, especially, stupid people- and there’s a lot of fucking stupid people in the world – at airports, that I’ve spent a lot of time in – get to the top of an escalator and immediately stop and look around, like, [doing a dopy voice] “Where am I going?” You fuckers, move! [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

[chuckles] The train one is the most- Like, that one- Like, the idea of something coming the other way and, like, hitting you, is like, eugh. I hate being in a car and being between the concrete barrier and a truck. Like, that is like terrifying to me.

MIKE JOHNSON

Mhm, mhm. Yep.

KYLE GETZ

You don’t like- Like, so cruises wouldn’t be up your alley?

MIKE JOHNSON

It’s-

KYLE GETZ

Like, boats and people?

MIKE JOHNSON  

It’s just- Yeahhh. I’ve gone on cruises before, and a cruise ship is less like a boat and more like, just like, land that’s not a- that’s away from the shore. [chuckles] You know, because they don’t move-

KYLE GETZ

It’s like land, but just, in the water.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right. It is. Like, they’re just super stable, right? Like, they- They hardly move at all unless there’s like a storm or whatever. But, like, I mean like, a little boat.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Okay, okay. Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Anyway, that’s- That’s, uh, wait- “Wait, Is That For Real?!” or whatever Chris Haigy calls it.

KYLE GETZ  

[laughing] Or whatever. Or whatever. Um, thanks. That’s horrifying. Well, I actually found there was a study that was, like, there is no data that has been collected on this, so they collected – they researched – as many as they could find from 2014 to mid-2016 to figure out how-

MIKE JOHNSON

Excellent.

KYLE GETZ

Since you actually looked at this, how many people do you think have died while attempting selfies during that time?

MIKE JOHNSON

400.

KYLE GETZ

Uh, 75, so, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh, okay. Great, I’m wrong.

KYLE GETZ  

Um, 75. I was-

MIKE JOHNSON

Nice.

KYLE GETZ

I was wondering- I was wondering why- 75 people have died while attempting selfies, in 52 incidents worldwide, and I was like, “Wait, how is there less?” but that’s because, like, can you imagine one selfie killing multiple people? Eugh.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, or one selfie killing your spouse in front of your children, and you. Yeah.

KYLE GETZ  

Eugh. I mean, I thought about this- or- Like, when Pokémon Go happened and people are, like, not paying attention to-

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh my God.

KYLE GETZ

Like, you’re right that there is something, like, you say “Selfie,” and people just kind of ignore everything around you to- The mean age of the victims was 23-

MIKE JOHNSON

Sure.

KYLE GETZ

-.3, if that matters-

MIKE JOHNSON

Sure.

KYLE GETZ

-and 82% were male.

MIKE JOHNSON  

That surprises me.

KYLE GETZ

Right?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ  

Because you think of women being the ones that more likely than us – I mean, I think it’s, you know, straight dudes – like, more likely than straight dudes to be taking selfies.

MIKE JOHNSON

Me too!

KYLE GETZ

But more cautious, maybe?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Dudes are real reckless, and dumb, and are more likely to take pictures with rattlesnakes and walruses.

KYLE GETZ

Or, walri? [Mike laughs] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

But yeah, I think of like, in a group of people on vacation together, the one that’s gonna be taking all of the pictures and documenting it is going to be the chicken or 20s, right?

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Someone [chuckles] was taking tons of videos at the bachelorette party went to- Oh, I don’t know if- I doubt she- Um, and at one point, like, handed- like, wanted- she wanted to be in one, so she gave me her phone and then was, like, dancing around, and then I was like… I don’t want to- Like, I don’t do this for myself. I don’t want to video these- Like, at some point I just, like, put the phone down, because like, I don’t want to do this.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

KYLE GETZ

But, yeah. The most- India’s the most common country, followed by Russia and the US, which is interesting, because you mentioned two from India and we even talked about it. Um, most are falling from a height, drowning, and rail accidents, those are the top three.

MIKE JOHNSON  

The hand grenade was, uh, Russia.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, interesting!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Anyway, go ahead.

KYLE GETZ  

That one- [Mike laughs] That’s not- Well, I don’t know. What’s the selfie- I don’t know. Okay. They did not have enough data to compare selfies versus non-selfie photography. Like, some of these things are not this- Well, I think the act of the selfie, you’re like, you’re distracted, which is different than if you were like setting up a camera. That, I think you’re looking around a little bit more, and you don’t have something in your hand that you’re looking at the picture.

MIKE JOHNSON  

And especially with dudes. And so maybe this is the thing that, like, “Here’s a picture of me I’m taking myself, doing something crazy, ridiculous, dangerous, over-the-top,” whatever, lends itself to, you know, issues.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Whereas, like, when you take a picture of something else, it’s usually not-

KYLE GETZ  

Well, no no, you could, like, set up a camera to take a picture of yourself. Like-

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, okay.

KYLE GETZ

Well, I guess I don’t- We defined “selfie”, but I don’t know what they defined as non-selfie photography. I was thinking like, you set up a camera and then you all go step back. I guess that stuff doesn’t happen anymore now, because-

MIKE JOHNSON  

I was just thinking about, like, out there taking pictures of lions and one eats you or something. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON  

There was a guy that got trampled by elephants. He got- He got of the safari vehicle to go take a [laughs] selfie with an elephant, and fuckin’-

KYLE GETZ  

You’re on a safari! Jesus- That’s like, we’re here specifically to see very dangerous animals! That seems like a- Um, one of the reactions to this has been their worldwide initiatives that, like, are creating no-selfie zones. And it said, “a multifactorial approach is required before it gets too late.” That’s ominous. 

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

I mean, it’s a little late, and people have already died from this, so I mean, we’ve missed it, but like, I don’t know what- if they think they’re going to be increasing or something. Anyway. Um, that’s- Wow. No selfie is more important than your life.

MIKE JOHNSON  

True that. I mean, some people, I don’t know. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

I wouldn’t mind if Elon Musk took a selfie that endangered his life, but, that’s different thing.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Another irrational fear, or, like, thing that I can’t help but react to, is people who are taking selfies, or just regular pictures, who are putting their phone in places where, like, if you drop it it is gone, or it’s gonna fuck up this machine that we’re all on together, or you’re gonna – you know – you’re gonna hit somebody with it at a- You know, “Drop a penny off the Empire State Building it’s gonna go through somebody’s skull,” which it won’t, because that’s a lie, but, anyway, MythBusters busted that one.

KYLE GETZ

Oh.

MIKE JOHNSON

But, like, people will put their fucking phones in the most like, weird, random, dangerous places. We were in Buenos Aires on Sunday. We toured an awesome graveyard, it was a cemetery that had, like, all of these above-ground crypts that were like family tombs, and some of them had windows, and some of those windows were broken, and one of the people that I was with kept putting his cellphone into the- And I was like, “Girl, if you drop that phone it’s with dead people now, forever.”

KYLE GETZ  

[laughs] It’s with the fishes. I- Well also, if there’s broken glasses isn’t that like sticking your hand through- Was that dangerous in and of itself, putting your hand through that?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yes. Yes. I hope you have tetanus shots!

KYLE GETZ

Eugh. Okay, and maybe- Maybe the purpose, if there- Why was this something that interested you enough to talk about? I was gonna- I was gonna come up with purpose for talking about it.

MIKE JOHNSON

Wh- The camera?

KYLE GETZ

No, no, no, selfie deaths.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I dunno. Because-

KYLE GETZ  

Because our podcast needs content?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well there’s that, Kyle. [Kyle laughs] We get together once a week, and we talk for a while, and then it goes out the door, and we need to say things.

KYLE GETZ  

[laughing] And we need to say things during that time period. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON  

There is something about my total lack of confidence in the human species, that I view them as hopelessly narcissistic, stupid, dangerous. I’m fascinated by it in the same reason that I’m fascinated by Darwin Awards, and, um, it lets me feel superior that I’m not the type of person that those sorts of things would ever happen to, and it sort of justifies my derision for those that would, and I’m not proud of any of that, but that’s definitely part of the equation here.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking, like, also that people- This is really important to people, it’s important enough that people- people are risking themselves, and clearly to ill- adverse effects, but like, that’s how extreme people care about selfies and their online – more so, like, the bigger picture, like – more so their online image and what they’re putting out there, whether it’s presenting that “I am interesting, or cool, or in a cool place, or doing something wild,” like, this is very important to people.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

It’s important enough to some people, to take these kinds of risks, and that- I also don’t- I rarely take a selfie. Like, it is so rare that I will post them, and- take them, much less post them. I feel like that’s- I’m very different than most gay people, so this is not important to me, so it is interesting seeing how much people care about- I care about my, like, online presence. Like, I check stuff too much, I do other things that are like harmful, but, taking and posting selfies is not one of those things.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Mhm. [chuckles] So we’re gonna ask all of you to post your selfies. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Well here- Okay. Here’s what I think.

MIKE JOHNSON  

“This thing is fucked up and stupid, and might kill you.” Let’s do it, everybody! [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

Let’s do it! Okay. Okay. One of the things that I- I think there are many of us, like me, although I think I’m not the only person that feels uncomfortable with- I mean, we know gay men have issues with their body. Like, I- That’s part of, like, my self-esteem and, like, body- Like, I don’t- Like, that’s the reason why. That’s mostly the reason why. And the idea of taking a bunch of pictures of myself and then looking through them is the worst. I would rather handle a live grenade.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right.

KYLE GETZ

Apparently you can do both at the same time. [Mike chuckles] Well, no you can’t.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

But, I think that I am not alone in that. I think we often see the jacked, gay, cis, white men that are posting pictures, and they get so many rewards for that. They’re- Like, if you have like 10-to-15-thousand Twitter followers I guarantee you it’s because you’re a gay guy that has posted shirtless selfies.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

There’s like- There’s like a number of people that you get to- like, you hit when you just do that one thing.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

KYLE GETZ

And it’s frustrating, and I hate- This is part of, like, my being annoyed at selfies, is because of all these, like, “Oh, cool, you’re pretty. Good for you. I’m so happy you’re pretty,” like, that- I’m sure that’s wonderful for you. So, that- I want to encourage, no matter who you are, especially if you’re someone like me who doesn’t take selfies or avoids it, like, do that. Like, you’re allowed to do that as well, and you don’t have to look like that to still post yourself, and be okay with that, and be proud of yourself, and- So maybe- I think there is some value in encouraging people do it. Yeah. So- Okay. Post selfies, tag us, we will repost lots of selfies to celebrate the release of this episode, and then you and I are also gonna take a picture. On- Well, on Instagram or Twitter.

MIKE JOHNSON  

But not Twitter, because it’s evil now. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ  

Twitter’s like- This is another thing, if we go back to like, that- our conversation about, like, it’s hard to exist, just go through the world. Like, should I stop using Twitter? Like, I don’t- That’s been my personal main one that I use, and I’m like still there.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Should we park gayishpodcast on Mastodon?

KYLE GETZ  

I- I have not seen good things about Mastodon. I don’t know. I don’t know, Mike.

MIKE JOHNSON

I don’t know either.

KYLE GETZ

Um, Instagram mainly, yeah. Uh, post a selfie, tag us we’ll repost it, and so you can at least get the validation from us that we care about you.

MIKE JOHNSON  

So did we do it?

KYLE GETZ

Uhh, we did something.

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] We took- We took an hour and some change. [both laugh]

KYLE GETZ  

Did we talk enough about, like, gay culture and taking selfies? Is that- Like, was that part clear? And- I don’t know what else there is to talk about then, or us, or we.

MIKE JOHNSON

I don’t- I don’t- I don’t either.

KYLE GETZ

Okay. Yeah, yeah. We did- We did a thing.

MIKE JOHNSON  

We did it. Let’s-

KYLE GETZ  

Um, let’s learn how to take selfies, because we both need help.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh yeah, during the break for the Patreon segment we’re gonna learn how to take selfies.

KYLE GETZ

Yep, yep.

MIKE JOHNSON

Step one, take your shirt off! No- Okay. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

Right, yeah. No step two, that’s the best selfie.

MIKE JOHNSON

So should we take a break?

KYLE GETZ

Let’s take a break!

MIKE JOHNSON

Let’s take a breeaaak!

[Break music plays, sung by MIKE JOHNSON]

This is the part where Mike and Kyle take a break!

MIKE JOHNSON

Alright, are we back?

KYLE GETZ  

We’re back!

MIKE JOHNSON

We’re back!

KYLE GETZ

We did good at taking selfies of ourselves, based on the tips we learned in the Patreon segment.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I love that it got worse as we went along.

KYLE GETZ  

Definitely. Well, the tip about turning your phone around, because it has a better camera, like, that seems like an expert-level move that we’re not to yet. I think handling basic smizing and head tilts are- I think that’s the phase we’re at.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Check it out for yourself by following us on Instagram. We’re not- Well, I guess- That is- That’s- Okay. Hi, everyone! Welcome back to our show!

MIKE JOHNSON  

[laughs] Our website is gayishpodcast.com.

KYLE GETZ  

Wait! Just, call to action. Oh, I guess- We’re on social media. Uh, post your selfies to Instagram and Twitter, and – or, maybe just Instagram. Yeah, we’ll push that one, not pushing Twitter – @gayishpodcast, and we’re also on a bunch other places, like Discord, and Facebook Groups, and Spaces.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Our hotline, you can send us text messages or leave us voicemails. Text us your selfies.

KYLE GETZ

Oh!

MIKE JOHNSON

It’s 585-5-GAYISH, that’s 585-542-9474. Standard rates apply.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, if you don’t- If you’d prefer not to, or don’t have Instagram, you can text it to us.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

But we will, I don’t know, not- probably not post those. And our- I’m doing- I’m not- I’m not great.

MIKE JOHNSON

You’re fine. You’re good.

KYLE GETZ

Gayishpodcast@gmail.com.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Our physical mailing address is Post Office Box 19882 Seattle, Washington 98109.

KYLE GETZ

You skipped a week and you kind of forgot that we-

MIKE JOHNSON

I know, yeah. We got some stuff.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, we have stuff? [gasps]

MIKE JOHNSON

Says, “Oh happiest of birthdays, and always remember that you are da bomb. From, Joe in Dallas.”

KYLE GETZ

Aww!

MIKE JOHNSON

Thanks, Joe in Dallas! What’s in here? This is lube? Oh, no, It’s Da Bomb Beyond Insanity hot sauce.

KYLE GETZ  

I was like, if that’s lube it’s bloody. [chuckles] ‘Cause- Wow!

MIKE JOHNSON  

And this is Ass Kickin’ Carolina Reaper salsa. It’s “Kick Ass Hot!” it says.

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

And another box.

KYLE GETZ

[gasps] Another box?

MIKE JOHNSON

“We’re Not Really Strangers”?

KYLE GETZ  

“We’re Not Really”- Oh! I think- Someone was like, “Can we send you a game?” and I was like, “Okay.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh!

KYLE GETZ

A sex party game!

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay, well, let’s not play that one.

KYLE GETZ  

Why not? We’re a sex party podcast!

MIKE JOHNSON

Great. Okay.

KYLE GETZ

We were nominated for a porn award, Mike. We’re a sex podcast.

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s true. And then-

KYLE GETZ

That only talks about sex.

MIKE JOHNSON  

And then Boomer Banks, I heard him talking on another podcast and he was talking shit about Cybersocket. Because he was like-

KYLE GETZ

Really?

MIKE JOHNSON

He’s like, “Apparently I don’t do porn. They don’t know I exist.”

KYLE GETZ  

Ohhhh. I thought you’re gonna say he was talking shit on us, and then I was gonna be excited that he knew who we are.

MIKE JOHNSON

No, no, no. No, no, no.

KYLE GETZ

No, he doesn’t? Aww.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Um, thanks, Joe in Dallas, and thanks, whoever you are that sent us this game. Probably the makers of the game.

KYLE GETZ

I’ll have to find- “We’re Not Really Strangers”.

MIKE JOHNSON

Maybe we’ll do the quarterly Happy Hour.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, that’d be a fun- Like, have some question ideas.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Maybe we’ll start with a single X though, because, like, you know, you don’t know how comfortable people are doing-

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

Gayest & Straightest?

MIKE JOHNSON

Nope, Local Gay Bar Review! This will be a quick one, because- because it’ll be quick, but, uh, I went to JR’s Bar and Grill in Dallas, Texas, which we have talked about on the show before.

KYLE GETZ

Why?

MIKE JOHNSON

Well, because that was the one where I got recognized.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, ooo, wow. Okay, oo.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Be fancy.

MIKE JOHNSON

But, and I don’t remember if I could- I don’t remember what episode it was to go back to listen to it to know if I gave the whole thing, but it was still on my list, so I assume that means I just said I got recognized there and that I would review it later, and now I’m doing that later.

KYLE GETZ  

Hm. Oh, sure. Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

I hung out-

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] I like the mysterious notes you’ve left for yourself. I do the same thing, where I’m like, “This meant something at one point.”

MIKE JOHNSON  

“Bird internet.” [both laugh] Okay. Uh, yeah. So it’s a sports bar, it has a lovely outdoor balcony upstairs that reminds me of Boise, the balcony at the bar there, um, when we went.

KYLE GETZ

But it’s a sports bar?

MIKE JOHNSON

And, uh- Yeah. Yeah. Good cocktails. I tried- That’s when I had my first fuckleberry, [Kyle chuckles] which I do believe I talked about on the show last time, because- Also, hung out with Joe in Dallas and, um – DallasCzech from the discord server – and had a lovely old time. Uh, four dildos.

KYLE GETZ  

Nice!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah!

KYLE GETZ

[quietly] Sports bar. Stupid. [both laugh] Uh, Gayest & Straightest?

MIKE JOHNSON

Now let’s do our Gayest & Straightest. I will go first, if you would like me to.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay. So the straightest thing about me this week is: I bought Grindr stock.

KYLE GETZ

You did?

MIKE JOHNSON

I invested in Grindr, which-

KYLE GETZ  

Did you buy it when it was at the bottom?

MIKE JOHNSON

No, I-

KYLE GETZ

And now you’re at the top?

MIKE JOHNSON  

I was out of the country. Like- [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

Oh, okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

But, I did it… on principle. I only bought two shares, it’s like 40 bucks.

KYLE GETZ  

[laughs] That’s fun.

MIKE JOHNSON

I need to- I need to own that. On principle!

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, you’re- You’re contributing. Yeah!

MIKE JOHNSON  

Uh, and then the gayest thing about me this week was: going out in Buenos Aires this weekend and, because I don’t know how that country rolls – I do, but, I still worried about it – I had the Uber drop me off at the grocery store near the bar that I wanted to go to.

KYLE GETZ

Mmm.

MIKE JOHNSON

I didn’t type in a gay-ass into the Uber. I was just like… take me somewhere there- nearby there.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Doesn’t that sucked, that like- I was like, thinking about this. We have to look up countries and be like, “Am I gonna die there? Is it illegal for me to be”- like, that sucks.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yep. Yep, absolutely. How about you, Kyle?

KYLE GETZ  

Um, my gayest is: I found myself, when I couldn’t sleep a couple nights ago, watching the 2012 Madonna halftime show from the Super Bowl.

MIKE JOHNSON

Excellent.

KYLE GETZ

No idea how- You know, there’s just- I was like, watching the Shakira.

MIKE JOHNSON

That was your straightest?

KYLE GETZ

That was my gayest.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, okay.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I mean, it was still football, so I think- [laughs]

KYLE GETZ  

There was- Well, yeah. But I watched no football and just Madonna.

MIKE JOHNSON

Got it.

KYLE GETZ

Um, the straightest: I don’t know why, but I’m watching the second season of the NXIVM documentary, and it just – I don’t know – it just feels like a straight thing. Just, the documentary, there’s nothing gay about it, there’s no- I don’t-

MIKE JOHNSON  

I mean, that dude banged a loooot of those chicks.

KYLE GETZ  

Yep, yep. Yep, yep.

MIKE JOHNSON

So, yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. I dunno. Um, we have a listener’s. This is from Donna Suggarz.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Donna Suggarz, I heart you.

KYLE GETZ  

I finally did not call you Donna Summers. Hi, Donna. Hope you’re doing well.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, she just- She’s moved back to the East Coast. She bought a house.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

You’re adulting.

DONNA SUGGARZ [voicemail]

Well hello, darlings. It’s Donna Suggarz. I was just calling with my Gayest & Straightest for the week. I just moved into my new home, and the straightest thing I did this week is: I replaced my own toilet! Oh, it was disgusting. Oh, God, [Mike laughs] the straightest thing I ever did, and I licked a vagina once! [Mike laughs] Uh, the gayest thing I did this week: [sighs] I wept openly because I was unpacking my records and my Bette Midler Divine Miss M album has a crack in it! Oh my God, that’s the one she did in the bathhouse with Barry Manilow as her pianist. I- I- I- I’m getting- I get emotional now just thinking about it. [Mike chuckles] So, um, I love you guys! Bye!

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh, Donna.

KYLE GETZ  

Those are wonderful. [Mike laughs] Those are perfect gayest and straightests. Breaking your- and tearing up over your Bette Midler [laughs] album, that’s the one of the gayest things I’ve ever heard.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yesss.

KYLE GETZ

Is that it?

MIKE JOHNSON

I guess that’s it.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

Send us your selfies, you fuckers.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, yeah. Why- Why do you feel hesitant? Do you have more to say, Mike?

MIKE JOHNSON

No.

KYLE GETZ

Let it all out.

MIKE JOHNSON

I’ve just been gone.

KYLE GETZ

By that I mean poop.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I’ve been- Oh, I’m pooping now. [Kyle laughs] I’ve just been gone for a while, so, it’s like, I forgot how to do this. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You’re allowed- [Mike laughs] You’re allowed to take one week off every, like, two, three years I think, roughly? [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep, yep.

KYLE GETZ

Don’t do it again.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Uh, thanks- Thanks for filling in! And thanks- Thanks to thanks to Miss Talk.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah!

MIKE JOHNSON

‘Cause she nasty. [both laughing]

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Um, and-

MIKE JOHNSON

Wait, no “if you’re nasty”. I don’t know.

KYLE GETZ

“if you’re nasty”, yeah. Nah, she’s nasty, that’s fine.

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m nasty, somebody’s nasty. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

Someone is nasty, and we’re gonna get to the bottom. Umm, and make sure you listen to her new podcast, Humanists Star Trek-

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

It’s Humanist Trek. Um, also-

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. I’m gonna be on that bitch.

KYLE GETZ

You are?

MIKE JOHNSON

I hope so.

KYLE GETZ  

You should. Um, also, thank you to the following Super Gap Bridgers: Christopher M, John Crawley, Stephen Portch, Joh Stoessel, Harry Shaw, Josh Copeland, Jonathan Montañez, Forrest Nail, Patrick Martin, James Barrow, [laughs] Steve Douglas, Explosive Lasagna, Just Jamie, Kevin Henderson, Tomas B, DustySands, Chris Khachatourians, and Jerome York. Thank you all for your support.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Thank you for your support. That’s it! This has been Gayish, from the Chris Khachatourians studios, I’m Mike Johnson.

KYLE GETZ  

And I’m Kyle Getz. Until next week, be butch, be fabulous, be you. Take a selfieee.

MIKE JOHNSON

Click.

[Outro music plays, instrumental]

There’re some fun names that studies use, because of the word “selfie”, like them using that “Selfie-Help”, that was fun, “Selfie Indulgence”, “I Love My Selfie”.

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh-uh.

KYLE GETZ

The one that took a real swing, “Selfie Harm”.

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh-uh, uh-uh.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] That one I was like, “Oh, uhh. Ooo, uhh.”

MIKE JOHNSON

No.

[Transcriptionist: C Dixon, CMDixonWork@gmail.com]