Gayish: 352 Kylie Minogue

Does Kylie Minogue deserve her gay icon status? From Pride48’s final livestreaming weekend, Mike and Kyle talk about the worldwide pop sensation herself, Kylie (Minogue, not Jenner).

In this episode: Main Topic (Kylie Minogue)- 4:54 || Gayest & Straightest- 53:03

Come see us live in Houston! Visit www.gayishpodcast.com/live for tour dates, details and tickets. We can’t wait to see you!

On the Patreon bonus segment, Mike share more LGBTQ firsts from soap operas around the world. If you want to support our show while getting ad-free episodes a day early, go to www.patreon.com/gayishpodcast.

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

INTRO MUSIC [MIKE JOHNSON SINGING]

When you know that you are queer but your favorite drink is beer, that’s Gayish. You can bottom without stopping but you can’t stand going shopping, that’s Gayish. Oh, Gayish. You’re probably Gayish. Oh life’s just too short for narrow stereotypes. Oh, it’s Gayish. We’re all so Gayish. It’s Gayish with Mike and Kyle.

MIKE JOHNSON

Hello, everyone in the podcast universe. This is Gayish.

KYLE GETZ  

The podcast where, every time God closes a mouth, he opens a butthole.

MIKE JOHNSON

Aww!

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] I like that you saw that as romantic.

MIKE JOHNSON

It is. It is.

KYLE GETZ

It is very romantic.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I’m Mike Johnson.

KYLE GETZ

I’m Kyle Getz.

MIKE JOHNSON

And we’re here to bridge the gap between sexuality and actuality. And, today…

KYLE GETZ

Today…

MIKE JOHNSON

Today…

KYLE GETZ

To-day…

MIKE JOHNSON

Today…

KYLE GETZ

[singing] Today, today, I feel it in my bones. Today, today…

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] Oh no. …We’re gonna talk about Kylie Minogue.

KYLE GETZ

Yes!

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, but first…

KYLE GETZ

But first…

MIKE JOHNSON

Hi, Pride48!

KYLE GETZ

Hi, Pride48. We’re doing this live on Pride48 so, if you’re listening live, “Hi,” to everyone in the chatroom.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeaaah! We will be following the chatroom in Discord. Pride48 has their own Discord server, and that’s what we’ll be lookin’ at. Um, but just really quickly: this has been a thing that we’ve been doing for a while. So, Pride48 is LGBT and LGBT-friendly podcasts, and this is the very last Live Streaming Weekend, and we’ve met some truly awesome people over the years and have been very, very glad to be involved, and um, it all started with Watersports.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Was that our first Pride48?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, that was that was our first Pride48. On June 28th 2018, we participated in our first Pride48 event and that’s episode 73, and we did watersports.

KYLE GETZ

Wow, back in the two-digits.

MIKE JOHNSON

You’re welcome. [both chuckle] Um, yeah. Also…

KYLE GETZ

Also…

MIKE JOHNSON

…if you’re a Pride48er, hopefully you’ve heard our show before. If not, you’re probably taffy. But uh, what you want to do is think about your Gayest & Straightest. So, every episode we do our Gayest & Straightest of the week, which is the stereotypically gayest and stereotypically straightest thing about us each week, just to show that there’s a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B for everyone. Um, but we want to take some from specifically the Pride48 audience. So get your Gayest & Straightests in to us in the Discord chat and we’ll share some at the end of the episode.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, absolutely.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Um… great. Uh, feedback and corrections.

KYLE GETZ

Ooo.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, first of all, Gary just asked in the chat “What was the Gayish word in 2019 in NOLA?” So, in 2018, our first one, live in NOLA, we did “handjobs”. And then in 2019… I remember it well because of how red I turned…

KYLE GETZ

Yes.

MIKE JOHNSON

…we did poppers.

KYLE GETZ

Poppers.

MIKE JOHNSON

Fucking Dan brought a selection of poppers and I basically lost my shit. [Kyle chuckles] Um, so, okay…

KYLE GETZ

Okay…

MIKE JOHNSON

Feedback and corrections. So, we got this lovely letter I just wanted to share really quickly.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

“Dear Mike and Kyle,” uh, this is about our Q&A episode, 350, just a couple of weeks ago, “your answer to the question about gay men over 50 who married women and stayed closeted was spot on. I am precisely that sort of gay man, now 65 years of age. When I was a young adult there was no internet, no gay characters on TV, and very few resources for anyone who didn’t fit the straight mold. My attempts to come out were awkward and clumsy and it was easy to go back into the closet and pass for straight. We all have been on our own paths. And as long as we are kind and respectful to each other, there’s no need to be critical of anyone whose path is different. Now we have lots of resources, positive representation in the media, and podcasts. Gayish is one of my resources to help me remember who I am. My eyes welled with tears when I heard Kyle say ‘There’s always time to be your authentic self.’ Well done, guys. Gordon.”

KYLE GETZ

Aw. Thanks, Gordon.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Thanks, Gordon.

KYLE GETZ

That’s a sweet email.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I’m glad that we could be your weekly dose of faggotry.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. [both chuckle] You gotta get it somewhere, might as well be us.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Exactly right. Um, so we have to be off of this bitch by the end of the hour or they’re gonna cut us off, so we’re not gonna do the news this week. Or, I’ll find a different way to get the news out maybe.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, but we’re just gonna skip that part and go right to “thank you”s to Patreon.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah! So, I want to thank the following Patreon members: Jesse O’Connell, Eli, Caileigh Adams… “Caileigh”? [like “KAY-lee”] I think I’m saying that right. …Aaron Foley, J. Chang-Tablada… [like “TAB-luh-duh”]

MIKE JOHNSON

Ooh. Nailed that one. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ

I don’t know. I even said it. I said that one… Tablada. Anyway, I said that ahead of time and didn’t- still fucked it up. …And Dylan Dunaway. Thank you so much for your support. You can support us by going to patreon.com/gayishpodcast.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeaah! Thanks for your money.

KYLE GETZ

Yep.

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] Especially because it paid for us to go to LA last weekend, which was a lot of fun.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. We’ve been doing live shows, including last week’s LA show, yeah, which was awesome.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Thanks to everyone who came out to that.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeaaah! It was great.

KYLE GETZ

But now…

MIKE JOHNSON

But now…

KYLE GETZ

We’re gonna talk about…

MIKE JOHNSON

You wanna talk about Kylie?

KYLE GETZ

…Kylie Minogue!

MIKE JOHNSON

Kylie Minogue.

KYLE GETZ

The Ky- Is she “the” Kylie? Is she Kylie enough that we can say “Kylie” and it counts as..?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Her Wikipedia article says that she goes by the mononym of “Kylie” from time to time.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

So, Wikipedia, you can take that shit to the bank. But also, and I think this is the most important: there’s other Kylies. Kylie Jenner, I think, is like, you know, in the mix there.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

But kylie.com is Kylie Minogue. So she- Early domain parker maybe, but I think that that just- She peed on that tree; it’s hers.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. She was born, like, two generations before Kylie Jenner was born. So of cour- Yeah, it makes sense she got that first.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

But there is a generation of people for whom “Kylie” might be Kylie Jenner.

MIKE JOHNSON

…Yeah… They don’t listen to our show. [both laugh] And they certainly don’t listen to Pride48. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

That’s very true.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Um, well, okay, so, predictably, I’m gonna talk to you about the history of Kylie Minogue.

KYLE GETZ

Sure.

MIKE JOHNSON

…By which I just mean “some basic biographical information”.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

We strategically asked Adam to give us the time slot that we have this year so that Australia is asleep and can’t hate mail us live.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, that was really smart, because they’re not gonna like this one I’m sure. We didn’t mention… Gap Bridger Samuel Kohler requested this as his episode topic.

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s right, I forgot. This isn’t our fault.

KYLE GETZ

Yes. Yes. [Mike laughs] And I think he knew exactly what he was asking for when he asked for it. Also his birthday’s coming up on September 29th, so happy birthday.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeaaah! Happy birthday, Samuel Kohler. Yeah. In case you don’t know, the people at our highest level of support, after they’ve been doing it for a few months, then we’ll sit down with them and they get to produce their own episode idea. And he came to us with this idea a long time ago. So, she released Padam Padam back in June- or, May. The new album was announced in May, and all of it was for Kylie’s 55th birthday. And so he’s been chomping at the bit ever since then, like even before then, leading up to that. I think we talked to him in like March or something.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, we talked to him a while ago. But Todd wanted to time it out with the episode release.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep.

KYLE GETZ

The album release.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well uh, this album release – this new album that’s coming out – is her 16th studio album.

KYLE GETZ

Damn.

MIKE JOHNSON

And it’s called “Tension”… which is what I’m feeling right now. [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ  

The single from that album just came out recently, and you heard it for the first time when I played it for you.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh yeah. There was- There was music in the background when I was [both chuckle] prancing around the kitchen.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, that was Kylie Minogue. Yep.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay, great.

KYLE GETZ

Yep.

MIKE JOHNSON

Well, okay, so the history of Kylie- Uh, her name is Kylie Ann Minogue, that is on her birth certificate. So this is not- This is not an invention, you know? Uh, but she was born at Bethlehem Hospital, in Caulfield South – which is a suburb of Melbourne, Victoria, Australia – May 28th 1968. So she turned 55 this year, which is crazy to me. I guess I sort of knew in the back of my head that she’d, like, been around a while and, like- I- Just, 55 blew me away, because she looks fucking fantastic.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. She looks incredible.

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh, and is, like, a sex symbol and has been for a while.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, um, I just think it’s really great to have, like, a woman of a certain age, like, kick as much ass as she does.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Absolutely.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, anyway, her dad was Ronald Charles Minogue, who was a car company accountant.

KYLE GETZ

Ohh.

MIKE JOHNSON

And his wife, Carol Ann, née Jones- Which, that just came up on Throwing Down the hour before us. “Née” just means “maiden name”, y’all. Um, but she was a former ballet dancer. Then they moved to Australia in 1958 as part of an assisted migration scheme. So, you know, Australia is basically giant England…

KYLE GETZ

[laughs] Oh no.

MIKE JOHNSON

…with spiders.

KYLE GETZ

And kangaroos.

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] Yeah. But they had been putting people on boats and sending them to Australia for a really long time: quite famously, prisoners, way back in the day. But then, later on, they were actively encouraging people from the UK to move to Australia and she was part of that. On the same boat with them was the Gibb family.

KYLE GETZ

I don’t know who that is.

MIKE JOHNSON

The Bee Gees, Kyle! The Bee Gees.

KYLE GETZ

Ohh.

MIKE JOHNSON

The other Australian band some people know. [both chuckle] Um, she’s the eldest of three children. So, she has a brother named Brendan who is a news cameraman, and her sister Dannii… [said normally] D- Dannii. [like “duhn-EYE”]

KYLE GETZ

No, I think it’s “Dannii”. [said normally]

MIKE JOHNSON

Da-n-n-i-i.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Dann-i-ee.

MIKE JOHNSON

It’s two Ns, two Is. D-A-N-N-I-I Minogue. Uh, she’s an actress, singer, and a television host. So, way back in the day, a 10-year-old Kylie went with her sister da-n-n-i-i to an edition- an audition that their aunt Suzette put together for them. And the producer said “Nah, Dannii’s too young. Ixnay on that,” but an Australian show picked her up. She had a minor role in the soap opera The Sullivans in 1979. So, that’s when her, like, public, public, public career gets going as a 10-year-old. So, she’s- She probably doesn’t remember ever not doing this.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. That’s crazy to me, people that have been in the limelight for their entire lives. Like, that just seems impossible to be a regular human…

MIKE JOHNSON

Right?

KYLE GETZ

…when that’s been your life.

MIKE JOHNSON

I can’t even do it.

KYLE GETZ

I know! [Mike laughs] Yeah. Same.

MIKE JOHNSON  

So then, she later was- She had another small role in another soap opera called Skyways and then she was cast in 1985 in a lead role in the television series The Henderson Kids. I guess she, like, cut school to go do The Henderson Kids, which her mom was pissed about. But she thought that she needed the independence to make it into the entertainment industry, uh, and it didn’t go so great. [Kyle gasps] So, one of her costars, Nadine Garner, said that she was, quote, “fragile”, because producers yelled at her for forgetting her lines and she would often cry on set.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh my God. If someone yells at me I’m gonna go cry off stage two.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well, and she’s, like, 15, 16 years old at this phase? Like, what- Like, don’t- Don’t yell at teenagers, you dickbags.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, but, so, one of her biographies says that removing her from that show turned out maybe to be the best thing ever for her career, because she started thinking about a career in music at that stage. She made a demo tape for the producers of a weekly music program called Young Talent Time, which featured Da-n-n-i-i as a regular performer. [Kyle groans quietly] Dannii. I’ll stop. [both chuckle] Or will I?

KYLE GETZ

Or will you?

MIKE JOHNSON

Um… featured her sister Dannii as a regular performer, so she was like “Maybe I’ll give this a shot too.” Um, but- So, she gave her first singing performance on TV in ‘85. But she was not invited to join the cast. But then her, like, big breakout, I suppose, is the soap opera Neighbours, which is also the name of a gay bar here in Seattle. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ

Is that still open?

MIKE JOHNSON  

I think so? It looked kind of open.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

It also looked like maybe a bunch of straight people… in it now.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, have the straight people heard about it and so now they get to take over and..?

MIKE JOHNSON  

I guess. I don’t know. I don’t know. We should go.

KYLE GETZ

Really?

MIKE JOHNSON

We should check it out.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

Anyway, okay, so, in 1986 she got cast as Charlene Mitchell, who was a schoolgirl, kind of a tomboy, that turned garage mechanic. [Kyle chuckles] And uh, I’m gonna talk about soap operas a lot later in the show, so I’m gonna sort of gloss over that whole thing.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

That show, Neighbours, is still on TV. They do so many episodes. It’s like 200-and-something episodes a year because it’s most days of the week. And it’s been on for… whatever that math is… 30-something years?

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

Anyway. Um, so, her debut single in Australia for music – her musical career – was July 13th of 1987. She was on this show, Neighbours. It had done really, really well, one episode in particular that I’ll talk about later, and The Loco-Motion was her debut single and it was released basically at the same time that this big episode happened. So it was just like… everything was coming up Kylie, in 1987. [Kyle chuckles] So then her self-titled debut album, Kylie, was released in July of 1988, and it’s been 15 more albums since then. She’s just had this insane career. What’s interesting is that she was never as big in the United States as she was in the Commonwealth countries, meaning UK, Canada, Australia… and elsewhere in Europe also. She just never quite took off here in the same way. The one exception being: Can’t Get You Out of My Head, which can’t get out of my head.

KYLE GETZ

That song is- I don’t-

MIKE JOHNSON

What? You don’t like it?

KYLE GETZ

I don’t love it. I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON

Really? Oh my god!

KYLE GETZ  

It’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t know. That was the first time I had heard of her, because I was born in ‘86 so, like, I’m not-

MIKE JOHNSON

Right.

KYLE GETZ

You know. So that was the first I had heard of her, and it was like “This song is… fine.”

MIKE JOHNSON  

[to the tune of the song] Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. It’s really good.

KYLE GETZ

Nyeh.

MIKE JOHNSON

It’s so catchy.

KYLE GETZ

Eh.

MIKE JOHNSON

And… eh, kind of. [Kyle chuckles] I think I agree.

KYLE GETZ  

But I like meh music, so that shouldn’t- it should be right up my alley, but…

MIKE JOHNSON  

It just- I mean, that is one of those songs that can and will, at any given moment, be played at a gay bar that you’re at… right?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, absolutely.

MIKE JOHNSON

nd it still, like, is the call of our people, Kyle. [Kyle chuckles] Uh, so, let’s see…

KYLE GETZ

But you’re right that she is massive in other countries. Like, worldwide she is huge, and for some reason it just- she doesn’t have- She has- She absolutely has fame here and people know her here, but it’s just not at the scale, I think, that other countries have her.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Right. Yep, absolutely. Um, I did not know this about her until, like, looking at her bio for the episode, but apparently in May of 2005 she had breast cancer. And, um, she had a lumpectomy and did a bunch of chemo while she was touring.

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

She had to finish her chemo in France for some reason. Like, the tour- Like, I don’t know how that works. I can’t even get in to see my doctor – the same doctor – two weeks in a row, much less, like, hand off my chemo treatment to another country, but…

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. You don’t pause your tour for your chemo treatment? That’s- That’s impressive.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Uh, she did, in interviews later, say that she was sort of interested in what they started calling the “Kylie effect”, which we’ve seen other celebrities go through something similar, of, like, “Oh, Kylie Minogue had breast cancer? Maybe I’ll get my tits checked.” You know?

MIKE JOHNSON

And it just was a- There was an uptick in women, in countries where she’s popular, getting mammograms.

KYLE GETZ

That’s great.

MIKE JOHNSON

…And checking out for breast cancer. Uh, let’s see… So, in June of 2023, she became the only female artist to reach the top 10 of the UK Singles Chart in the 80s, 90s, 00s, teens, and 20s…

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

…and that’s because Padam Padam was instantly a top 10 hit in the UK. Um, she also does a bunch of charity work, a bunch of philanthropic work. She’s a supporter of amfAR, which is the Foundation for AIDS Research. She hosts the amfAR Inspiration Gala in Los Angeles- or, hosted it in 2010. She also attended amfAR fundraising benefits in Cannes, and performed at galas for the charity in São Paulo and Hong Kong. So, I know that that’s maybe a segue for what you’re going to talk about next, but she’s done a lot of- a lot of work in raising money for HIV/AIDS, which predominantly affects gay people.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, yeah. So, what I like to do is I like to look into why are they a gay icon, what about them, and, kinda, do they deserve to be? And what is it about them? Why is it- I think there’s this question that I keep having, is like “Why do we have this reverence for these straight women?” It just- That’s just part of gay culture.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Like, GLAAD has the Vanguard Award – right? – which we’ve joked on the show before is just the “Who did the gays love this year?” award.

KYLE GETZ

Yes. Yes. [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON

Right?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, absolutely. They give it out to the “Straight Ally of the Year” or whatever. So, um, here’s what I- It seemed like she was an icon – a gay icon – the moment she started. In the 90s was the Rhythm of Love album, which was a dance album. The single Better the Devil You Know… uh, London’s G-A-Y – Do you say “G-A-Y”, or “Gay”? – nightclub…

MIKE JOHNSON

“G-A-Y”, I think.

KYLE GETZ

Okay. G-

MIKE JOHNSON

I went there!

KYLE GETZ

You did?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. There’s a picture of me making a Y under the G-A-Y sign.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, cute!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, but that nightclub considers Better the Devil You Know to be its ultimate anthem. There was a list on Digg that had the best LGBTQ pride songs and it was ranked number six on the list, just behind I Will Survive.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh!

KYLE GETZ

So, I didn’t realize that. It is up there with pride songs that are just universally loved and adored.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. I Will survive and It’s Raining Men for sure.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

What else?

KYLE GETZ

I’m Coming Out.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I’m Coming Out, yeah. Like, company with those songs.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Like- Okay. Yeah.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, absolutely. Um, also in the 90s, bars started doing Kylie nights.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great.

KYLE GETZ

And this is what Kylie said about it: quote, “I think it was 1990 and I was in Sydney and there was a very famous gay bar on Oxford Street, and they were doing a ‘Kylie’ night – which I’d never heard of and never been to…I heard there were people dressed as me and it sounded like a good time. So that was the first moment I thought ‘Wow, something’s kind of happening’…over the years I think I’ve just always tried my best. I’ve tried to be myself. Anyone in this industry knows there’s obstacles how to be accepted as yourself and that’s just what I try to do with anyone.” So, she seems to- There seems to be this gay movement of- You know, I can imagine a Kylie night at a gay nightclub and- [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, for sure. I mean… they were all gay bars, right?

KYLE GETZ  

They had to be. [Mike laughs] I didn’t- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah… any place doing a Kylie night must be a gay bar. I did not find that specifically, but…

MIKE JOHNSON

I would think.

KYLE GETZ  

…has to be.

MIKE JOHNSON

Has to be.

KYLE GETZ

Um, she performed at the 1998 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, and she’s done a lot of performances at Prides and, you know, gay and lesbian events. So, um, one article I read about the 2010s song All the Lovers said “Kylie would never claim to be a political artist, but … All The Lovers had an important message to share about the positivity of love and self-expression, and it was embraced by her LGBTQ+ fans,” and the video for it is basically a giant bisexual orgy. [Mike laughs] It is-

MIKE JOHNSON  

Wait, bisexual giants baying there? Or there’s-

KYLE GETZ

[laughs] [in a deep voice] “Me want orgy!” [in a slightly less deep voice] “Me want orgy.” [in the first deep voice again] “Me orgy with you?” [Mike laughs] Um, no, it is a large [chuckles] bisexual orgy. Just tons of people all gettin’ down on each other and then lifting up Kylie above their head.

MIKE JOHNSON

Wow.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. That’s multitasking. There’s enough to do in an orgy already, much less trying to hold Kylie Minogue over your fucking head.

MIKE JOHNSON

…Literally fucking, maybe.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Perhaps. …I can’t tell if you’re tell- if you’re, like, pulling my leg.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, what? …The video’s a bisexual orgy?

MIKE JOHNSON

…Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

No. It is.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay. [chuckles] Okay, great.

KYLE GETZ

No, it really is!

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, great!

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Yeah. [Mike chuckles] In 2014 she performed at the GLAAD Media Awards in New York City. Um, an article that I saw connected her cancer- I was reading a couple articles on why is she a LGBT icon. One article connected her battle with cancer with LGBT rights.

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] Like “I understand the fight for queer rights; I’ve had breast cancer.”

KYLE GETZ  

Kind of. Okay, here’s what they said.

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] “They’re basically the same!” [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

They’re the same thing. You know how it goes. Um, they said, quote, “Kylie, however, offers something truly different: a natural warmth and genuine understanding of the struggles of acceptance and challenge. She has known a battle or two: often with the critics, once most seriously with her health, and, of course, navigating more than three decades in the challenging music business.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

So, there’s… I think, sometimes, a- There are these icons that we’re like “They fought for everything and they’ve been through a lot, and that’s part of what we connect to about them.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Sure.

KYLE GETZ

And so I can see- As interesting or weird as it sounds on the surface level, I can see why people make these connections to… If you’ve gone through struggle and strife, that we relate to that person more.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. We do love a rise above story, I think.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

That makes sense to me. But you also- You have to do it in heels, you know?

KYLE GETZ  

[chuckles] And, like, sequined top.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, in 2020- This is the gayest thing I’ve found the entire time.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great. Lay it on me.

KYLE GETZ

2020, she started a wine business selling rosé.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Mmm! Now I feel bad I didn’t know that so I could get you a bottle for this very recording session.

KYLE GETZ  

Aw! Aw. That’s okay. I didn’t know she did all that charity work for amfAR, so… [both chuckle]

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

So, you know, we’re here to teach each other shit.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great. Great.

KYLE GETZ

Um, in a 2021 interview when being asked about being a gay icon, she said, quote, “I didn’t set out to do that,” meaning “be inclusive”, “it is just naturally how I feel. There is so much talk about inclusivity, and I felt I always had that from the beginning.” “I used to say, I loved to be able to look out at my shows, and there are just all walks of life – there has never been any judgement.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Aww.

KYLE GETZ

So she’s saying good things, and also is not like… she’s not, like, passionately defending LGBT rights in that statement either.

MIKE JOHNSON

Sure.

KYLE GETZ

So, um, GLAAD – an article on GLAAD – did say that her music- that, whether it’s her music or her allyship, she is a pop legend who has achieved icon status. She’s performed at Prides around the world in 2013, she performed at the WorldPride in Sydney, she performed Padam Padam…

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

I mean, she released the song Padam Padam, [Mike chuckles] which is the second gayest thing about her. [Mike laughs] Um, so, to summarize why I think she’s considered a gay icon, I wrote down this quote: “Her unique LGBTQ+ appeal lies in the fact this survivor has grown up alongside the community, sharing, celebrating and commiserating with its ups and downs.”

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay. Okay.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

We’ve also said before that there’s just, like, a weird self-fulfilling feedback loop thing of, like, “She’s a gay icon because she’s a gay icon.”

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, like, once you get that, you just are.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And then it happens more.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

But she does fit the template, like the- like, the archetype that we’ve seen over and over again. She fits a lot of those.

KYLE GETZ  

What things are included in that archetype? Like, what things do you need to have?

MIKE JOHNSON

Be white. No. [laughs] Well…

KYLE GETZ

I think it’s easier…

MIKE JOHNSON  

Um, uh, yeah, there’s sort of a grandioseness about the way that you, um, behave and dress especially, like a lot of sequins, like killer heels. Like, these are- These are- These are true things.

KYLE GETZ  

And to do a Kylie night you have to be- she’d have to have distinctive enough looks that someone can dress up in something and you’ll be like “Oh, yep, that’s Kylie Minogue.”

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yep. Um, a, like… I think that there’s a common thing of gay icons also, like, not coming from money.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

Like, in a “Here I am, world. I’m unstoppable,” just fuckin’ making shit happen even though you came from, like, goddamn fuckin’ nowhere.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um… There’s also, sadly- I don’t think it’s part of why we’re attracted to them but I do think that there are a lot of gay icons who are sort of like tongue in cheek about their support for the gay community.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

Like, they know on what side their bread is buttered.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Sure.

MIKE JOHNSON

But they also aren’t super overt in their support.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

So… iunno.

KYLE GETZ  

Um, yeah. Yeah. I think- It sounded like, since the album Rhythm of Love – that one in the 90s that was a dance album – it sounded like she started out, earlier early in her career, being loved by gay men. And that has just continued on as she- So then, as she’s kept going, we are really loyal as long as you don’t fuck us over.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right.

KYLE GETZ

You know, like, as long as you keep the right path, we’re really loyal. And she kept releasing, you know, dance albums and dance songs that we loved. She has amazing outfits. She’s hot. She… yeah, has risen above challenges. So I think these are all the things that make her a gay icon.

MIKE JOHNSON

Mhm Mhm.

KYLE GETZ

I like that- I actually, like I said, did not find some of the nonprofit work that you mentioned. So, I liked that she- not only that she performs it Prides. So, that’s huge. So, she knows, you know, you can- when you’re that big, you get to decide where you’re going, I think.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right.

KYLE GETZ

Like, you’re the one making the decision. So, to recognize and perform for your gay audiences, I think, is huge. And to actually support monetarily when you’re that big… like, you make your money from gay men, so putting money back into the community, I think, is a huge thing.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep.

KYLE GETZ

So she’s got some pluses in her side.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Well, and I was thinking a little bit ago that- Uh, well, first, after saying I was glad that we were doing this when Australia is asleep: apparently RTCruiser’s awake, ‘cause he’s listening.

KYLE GETZ

I know, right?

MIKE JOHNSON

…Which, that makes me nervous. But, uh, Australia, when it comes to gay shit, is actually, like, behind us. Like, they didn’t legalize gay marriage until 2018. There- That is, when it comes to gender and sexuality issues, as near as I can tell: a very conservative country. So she also, sort of, has had to be, I think… a little careful about how much support and in what contexts, but while not biting the hand that feeds her. So, um-

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, RTCruiser, in the chat, says “Surrounding herself with hot gay dancers.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah, that helps.

KYLE GETZ

Yes. That’s a big one. [Mike laughs] Having hot dudes around you is absolutely part of the motif of these gay icons.

MIKE JOHNSON

Even if they’re straight.

KYLE GETZ

Even if they’re straight. We don’t need to know that.

MIKE JOHNSON

Mm.

KYLE GETZ

I’m just looking at ‘em, so, you know. Um, so, I don’t know- Yeah. So, she seems to be- There are some gay icons where I’m like “Yes, they’ve- Like, they started this nonprofit early in their career, and they’ve been outspoken about LGBTQ rights.” Like, she’s not that kind of icon. I think she is, like you said, an icon because she was an icon, and it kind of fuels itself.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yep. Yep. Once it’s- Once you pop you can’t stop? I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Kyle.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] So many idioms that you’ve got for us.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Oh, I didn’t take my meds this morning.

KYLE GETZ

Ohhh.

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s what’s going on.

KYLE GETZ

Alright.

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m having the hardest time following up one single thread of thought, [Kyle chuckles] which is great for live podcasting. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ  

You gotta stick with me for 30 more minutes.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Alright, I got it. I got it. I can do this. I can do this. Well, I want to talk more about soap operas, Kyle. So, there is like a parallel universe – right? – where she gets that job early, early in her career and stays in soap opera-ing and never attempts a music career or going with her sister on that talent show thing. And uh, she was in so many soap operas at the beginning of her career, but her biggest one was this show, Neighbours. And Neighbours has a surprising number of, like, really gay things about it. First of all, Guy Pearce also got his start on Neighbours.

KYLE GETZ

No way.

MIKE JOHNSON

…Who then went on to do, like, the gayest thing ever: Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. [Kyle chuckles] And they were- But they were on the show at the same time there, in the mid-80s. But, um, talking about this episode… So, the episode that, like, it was just such a big deal, is episode 523, and it premiered on July 1st of 1987. So, Charlene, who is Kylie Minogue’s character, has been dating this dude for a while – and his name is Scott, he’s played by Jason Donovan – and this episode is their wedding episode. So, backing up a little bit, they had been dating for a while, being adorable on the show… you know how soap operas roll: like, drama and, like… But, like, they’ve been together for a while, and there was a plotline where they were to move in together, and they got hate mail because “You’re going to let a beloved young unmarried couple live together? The horror.”

KYLE GETZ

OoooOoOoo.

MIKE JOHNSON

But that was the state of Australian sensibilities in the 80s, and arguably in the United States too at that time.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Like, I could see a similar backlash happening. But um, so they decided “Okay, quick, write a wedding episode. We’re gonna have them get married instead of live in sin,” and so they got this wedding episode together. And uh, it was the highest ever ratings for Neighbours, became one of the highest rated soap opera episodes ever in Australia, and it got 19.6 million viewers in the United Kingdom when it aired in the UK.

KYLE GETZ

Wooow.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, so it was just- It was a big deal. The wedding episode was a big deal. And, really- We’ve talked about parasocial relationships before, of, like, when you put content into your brain, even if it’s fiction, there’s parts of your brain that can’t help but feel connected and attached to those voices, those actors, that character even.

KYLE GETZ

The reason podcasts are a thing.

MIKE JOHNSON

They got so many wedding gifts in the mail-

KYLE GETZ

What?!

MIKE JOHNSON

-sent to the studio, which is- Like, every major wedding episode of every show, this is a thing that happens. It just- It was the first time it had happened on this scale in Australia.

KYLE GETZ

That’s creepy to me.

MIKE JOHNSON  

It’s creepy to me too! Like you were just- Like, can you imagine sending, like, that episode where Ross married that lesbian – No. – in Friends?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, I don’t think they had a wedding episode though.

MIKE JOHNSON

What happ-

KYLE GETZ

For- Not-

MIKE JOHNSON

His lesbian ex-wife got married. …Anyway-

KYLE GETZ

But did she get married on the show?

MIKE JOHNSON

I think s- All I’m saying is that, like… to watch a show, and be, like, into that show, and then like “Oh, they’re getting married. I’m going to go to Macy’s, see if they’re registered, be sad when they’re not because they’re a fucking fictional character, and then send them something anyway in the mail.” And some poor fuckin’ intern has to open it up and be like “I guess I get more cake knives.” [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ  

“I guess we have a third toaster now, for the office.” Like, yeah, what do you do with that shit? I mean… sell it and pocket the retail value of whatever it is.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Maybe. Yeah. Send a gift receipt? [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ

Oh, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, so the couple, leading up to the wedding episode, had been called TV’s “Romeo and Juliet” in Australia, because they were from feuding families. So there was also this, like, “What are the families gonna do when they get together at this wedding?”

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, um, so Minogue said – Kylie Minogue said – that she thought that the wedding episode and their marriage in general would bring controversial subjects such as, quote, “premarital sex and HIV/AIDS” into focus. So they were trying to explore the moral points behind living together and premarital sex, and even after you’re together what do you do, what’s safe, etc. Anyway, so this episode, then-huge massive hit, that’s when the locomotion dropped.

KYLE GETZ

Mmm…

MIKE JOHNSON

So it was this huge moment for her career and that really was the blast off, in a lot of ways.

KYLE GETZ  

I wonder, if that timing hadn’t been that timing, if everything would have still happened for her like that. You know?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Like, it’s weird that some things, like, for some people, just line up and work out and… yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think- Sometimes I think that a lot of fame is just luck.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

MIKE JOHNSON

Which is unfortunate, because then we also have this, like, false narrative that it’s through grit and perseverance or whatever.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

And… some of that is true, but it’s the combo. Like, you have to try, and work hard, and just get fuckin’ lucky.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. And you have to have some talent too, like- but a lot of people have talent. You know, it’s- Not everyone that has talent is famous, so there’s gotta be more, and yeah, right, I think luck is a big part of it.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yep. Uh, so Scott and Charlene’s wedding ceremony has often been included in lists about the best television weddings or soap opera moments of all time. It was voted the most romantic TV nuptials of all time and the top TV wedding of all time, in a Radio Times poll. I’m assuming that’s Australian. [Kyle chuckles] Um, and then, in 2011, Channel 5 had a Greatest TV Weddings program, and the wedding place third. So, even all those years later it was still, like, a big deal. Apparently, the actor that played Scott is also a musician, and the fans demanded a duet between Kylie Minogue and this actor, musician guy. Jason Donovan is his name, there he is. Um, and they were ultimately successful. There was a [chuckles] duet that was released between them, um, uh, uh… let’s see… just like a couple of years later which I just- I think that that shit’s great, like the idea that, like, you’re on-TV wedding means now you have to do things in real life together…

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

…even if you don’t want to.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

She was reluctant, ultimately relented, and now we have this song.

KYLE GETZ

Did you listen to it?

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, no, I did not listen to it.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, okay. I didn’t know if it was any good.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, we should fuckin’ listen to it.

KYLE GETZ

We need to listen to all of these. [chuckles]

MIKE JOHNSON

I’m trying to find the name of it but, like I said, I’m not medicated right now, so I’m having- I’m struggling. Totes struggs to func, Kyle. Um… what else do I want to tell you about this thing? Oh! So, that got me thinking about just, like, soap operas in general, and soap opera moments.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm.

MIKE JOHNSON

And, um, the thing that is interesting to me is: compared to other Australian soap operas, and globally soap operas in general, the show Neighbours that she was on was actually behind the curve in terms of queer representation.

KYLE GETZ

Hm!

MIKE JOHNSON

So, um, the first lesbian character on that show was, uh, Lana Crawford played by Bridget Neval, and she became the first lesbian character in 2004.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

Which, most soap operas, as far as I can tell… there were gay characters in the 70s and 80s, and a lot of them, if not full on plotlines. Uh, so, for it to be that late is… pretty late. In 2010, the first regular gay character, named Chris Pappas played by James Mason, was introduced. Again, 2010. Other soap operas had had gays in the 70s and 80s. Uh, and then in 2018 Aaron Brennan played by Matt Wilson, and David Tanaka played by Takaya Honda, were married, which was the first same-sex marriage to feature in an Australian TV drama.

KYLE GETZ

Ooo.

MIKE JOHNSON

Because they had, apparently, some- They waited until it was legal. So, same-sex marriage was legalized in 2018 and that’s when they decided to have a gay marriage plotline.

KYLE GETZ  

Oh, like, that kind of makes sense though.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Like, that couple could also have been waiting for it to be legal to- You know, that lines up with what happened in real life too.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yep… And, people were having commitment ceremonies and other kinds of gay weddings well before legalization. What I’m interested in – and didn’t look up, but maybe now I will, I don’t know – is whether there was, like, a regulatory reason for it. Because, like, TV rules are fucked up in a lot of places and it might’ve had, like, repercussions if they had… promoted an illegal act, or not yet legal act, or who- Like, I don’t know. Anyway…

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh, the first trans character on Neighbours was Mackenzie Hargreaves played by Georgie Stone, introduced in late 2019. That was after the actor approached the producers with a pitch that there should be a character, and they said “Okay.”

KYLE GETZ

Good for that actor, to be, like, making their own opportunities.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Absolutely. And good for them for listening and doing it.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Good job, everybody.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, some other queer moments in Australian soap opera history. There’s a show called The Box, and it featured a character named Lee Whiteman and was a camp- a high camp television producer, and has two same-sex relationships during his time in the series that were on-screen. So, gay shit on Australian soap operas goes back to 1974, apparently.

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, yeah. Anyway, that’s some stuff about soap operas. Look at the time, Kyle.

KYLE GETZ  

Look at the time. That’s really interesting. Thank you, Mike.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, I’m gonna- Let’s diverge into the woods. Now I’m doing weird…

MIKE JOHNSON

Into the woods.

KYLE GETZ

Um, and play a little game.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah! Play a game. Okay, those of you on the Pride48 Discord chat, please play along/give me the answers. [both chuckle] Here we go!

KYLE GETZ  

Um, I’m going to give you a lyric…

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

…and you’re going to tell me-

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, I am fucked, Kyle.

KYLE GETZ

No you’re not, no you’re not.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, okay.

KYLE GETZ

You’re gonna tell me whether it’s from Can’t Get You Out of My Head…

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

…Padam Padam…

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

…Or I made it up.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, great. I love this.

KYLE GETZ

Okay.

MIKE JOHNSON

I love this. Okay, here we go.

KYLE GETZ  

I only have a few, so… Um, first one is “I can tell you how this ends, I’ll be in your head all weekend.”

MIKE JOHNSON  

That’s Padam Padam.

KYLE GETZ

That’s Padam Padam. Good job!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeaaaah!

KYLE GETZ

See? You go this.

MIKE JOHNSON

[chuckles] [singing] Be in your head all weekend.

KYLE GETZ  

Um, “From my nose down through my toes, you’ll find parts that nobody else knows.”

MIKE JOHNSON

…You made that up.

KYLE GETZ

I made that up.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeeesss!

KYLE GETZ

Whoa!

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Sorry, I yelled.

KYLE GETZ

I need to be- I need to be keeping track of these.

KYLE GETZ  

Uh, you have two so far.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, great.

KYLE GETZ

This one’s a tough one.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, great.

KYLE GETZ

La la la, [Mike chuckles] la la la la la, la la la…

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh huh.

KYLE GETZ

…la la, la la la.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay, in my head those are not las, but in the recording they are nas in Can’t Get You Out of My Head. I think that’s n-a n-a, and you made that up.

KYLE GETZ

Oh, interesting. No, that’s Can’t Get You Out of My Head.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, well fuck my ass.

KYLE GETZ

Sorry.

MIKE JOHNSON

Alright.

KYLE GETZ

That was a good theory though. I like that.

MIKE JOHNSON  

[laughs] Just always looking out for how you can fuck me, Kyle.

KYLE GETZ  

I’m trying. I’m trying to. Um, “There’s a dark secret in me. Don’t leave me left in your heart, set me free.”

MIKE JOHNSON

…Padam Padam.

KYLE GETZ

Incorrect, that is Can’t Get You Out of My Head.

MIKE JOHNSON

Shit! [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ

Next one is “Shivers that ease your pain. I get the shivers every time you touch my brain.”

MIKE JOHNSON

[sighs] …Padam Padam.

KYLE GETZ

No, I made that one up.

MIKE JOHNSON

Son of a bitch, Kyle!

KYLE GETZ

She does say something like that. She says “Shivers and cold champagne. I get the shivers every time you say my name.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

[singing] Shivers and cold champagne.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay. Alright.

KYLE GETZ  

[mumbling/singing] I get the shivers every time ba ba ba ba…

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, next one, “You’re everything I ever knew. I want to feel you in my bedsheets too.”

MIKE JOHNSON

…Can’t Get You Out of My Head?

KYLE GETZ

I made that one up.

MIKE JOHNSON

Son of a bitch, Kyle! [Kyle chuckles] Fuck.

KYLE GETZ

Last one.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great.

KYLE GETZ

This is the last one.

MIKE JOHNSON  

[chuckles] Somebody in the chat says, if you have brain shivers, you should see a doctor. [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ  

Brain shivers mean you might not have taken your meds.

MIKE JOHNSON

Thanks, nico.

KYLE GETZ

Um, “Won’t you stay? Won’t you lay? Stay forever, and ever, and ever, and ever.”

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s Can’t Get You Out of My Head.

KYLE GETZ

Correct!

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeaaah!

KYLE GETZ

You got three.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great.

KYLE GETZ

So you failed.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great. [both laugh] If there’s anything I love more than anything else, Kyle, it’s public failure. [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ  

Well you do- No. Uh, you did a good job, especially for not being a- Well, you love Padam Padam, so…

MIKE JOHNSON

I do… I think.

KYLE GETZ

Hm.

MIKE JOHNSON

You know? Padam Padam is so interesting because- Okay-

KYLE GETZ  

This is a good segue into we’re gonna talk about Padam Padam.

MIKE JOHNSON

Personal feelings? Oh, Padam Padam.

KYLE GETZ

No, no- Yeah. I have an entire thing on Padam Padam.

MIKE JOHNSON  

First of all, we have a friend whose theory is that straight people can’t hear that song.

KYLE GETZ

Yes. [both chuckle]

MIKE JOHNSON

That it’s just silence when that song is on, which I think is fucking hilarious.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

But also- Okay, don’t @ me everybody – or do, I love it – um, it’s not that great of a song. Why do I fucking love it? You know? Maybe I do understand your relationship to Britney. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ  

I think, if you like this song, then you understand at least a part of it. I- You don’t have to- A song doesn’t have to be, like, “This changes the world. This is the most unique, individual, high quality, well produced thing ever.” It can just be fun.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

It can be like “I like this. I like to dance to this. This makes me happy.” Like, songs can just be basic, and easy, and fun.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yes. Yes. I agree with that. I’m not here to yuck anybody’s yum or shit on anybody’s parade.

KYLE GETZ

Mhm. But…

MIKE JOHNSON

And… it’s also not that fun? Like, she kind of sounds like she’s underwater and bored. [both chuckle] And I don’t- I don’t understand some of the, like, sound choices that they’ve made with this song. Go ahead.

KYLE GETZ

N-

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh, I just- I just- I just- I just- It’s not that fun. It just- Flowers is the same thing. Fucking Miley Cyrus. That song is just… not great, and yet here I am.

KYLE GETZ  

And it was like the quickest song to reach a billion streams on Spotify, or something. Like, you are not the only one.

MIKE JOHNSON

So stupid.

KYLE GETZ

But the Kylie Minogue- The- Like, her sounding like it’s underwater… A Vogue opinion piece-

MIKE JOHNSON

Great.

KYLE GETZ

-which was called “Kylie Minogue’s “Padam Padam” Is the Gay Nonsense Bop We Needed This Pride”…

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay.

KYLE GETZ

…um, one of the things that it talked about in, you know, trying to figure out why is this a gay song, why do we love it, what is going on here, apparently it went viral in TikTok which I don’t- I’m not on TikTok, so I don’t know.

MIKE JOHNSON

Thanks, TikTok.

KYLE GETZ

I guess so. I mean, songs- That is one way to get your song to, like, go somewhere, is you put it on TikTok and, if the sound catches and people use it, then… Anyway, so it went viral on TikTok, quote, “in no small part because Minogue sounds exactly like an AI creature on the track.”

MIKE JOHNSON  

Great. [Kyle chuckles] I agree.

KYLE GETZ

So there’s-

MIKE JOHNSON

Underwater and bored! [both laugh] We’re saying the same thing.

KYLE GETZ  

Um, let’s see… Another article that I read about Padam Padam is on Harper’s Bazaar. It says “‘Padam Padam’ Is a Pride Anthem and Kylie Minogue at Her Peak”. The subtitle is “The pop star’s latest song isn’t just a bop, but also a newly inducted element of the queer lexicon”.

MIKE JOHNSON

Eugh. That sounds like a bunch of bullshit. [chuckles]

KYLE GETZ  

I see this song as- There are things like “Gays drink iced coffee,” or “Gays can’t do math,” that are just newer things that have come up and we all just kind of glom on to them, and there’s no actual reason- there’s nothing actually gay about them.

MIKE JOHNSON

Right?

KYLE GETZ

It’s just- But now we’ve made it gay, and it’s our thing, and it’s funny and fun to feel like you’re in on something. And I think this is one of those things. I think we all decided it was a gay thing. And you- And we just then made it our thing. Like, I think it entering into the lexicon explains its popularity, to me.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay. Okay, okay.

KYLE GETZ

Apparently, the track was debuted on the season finale of American Idol, which included a squad of buff male dancers in skintight military-meets-sci-fi outfits.

MIKE JOHNSON

Fuck yes.

KYLE GETZ

So, you know, we’ve got the performing on a huge popular TV show, we’ve got the buff background dancers. She has a gay cult following even in the US. And the article said, quote, “we’re allowed to enjoy even objectively terrible things with a confusing mix of irony and superiority.”

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Right?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

“If something is ‘so bad it’s good,’ we are the ones who get to decide.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah! Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

And it connected it to-

MIKE JOHNSON

But then, like, that also presumes that there’s like some gay high council that, like, has a gavel and decides, like-

KYLE GETZ

Things kinda- But it- There’s- I don’t know how it works, but it kind of works like that, right? Like, it kinda just spreads through gay world and then it’s just like “Hey, everyone, this is a gay thing now,” right?

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you imagine what, like, a gay high council would look like? There’s like, you know, one twink, one bear, one otter, one gamer, one- like, and they meet, like, quarterly.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. [Mike chuckles] At like 5, but then it actually starts at like 5:37 [Mike laughs] because everyone had to go get their iced coffee on the way there.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Right. Right, right, right. Uh, talking a little bit about, like, the way that she sounds… So, somebody- Tim Sendra on AllMusic said that she has a slightly nasal girl next door vocals that serve her needs perfectly. She’s known for her soft soprano vocal range, but also, apparently, she was sometimes referred to by people that hate her as “the Singing Budgie”, which, a budgie is an Australian bird that I guess sounds…

KYLE GETZ

Oh. Oh God.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Awh, Kylie.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I just wanted to say “budgie”.

KYLE GETZ

Budgie.

MIKE JOHNSON

‘Cause budgie smugglers are- Anyway, go ahead.

KYLE GETZ

I haven’t heard of that. Um, in the Vogue article it said, quote, “We love mess in all its forms, particularly the sonic kind!” [Mike laughs] Um, so there’s- I mean, a lot of these-

MIKE JOHNSON

[laughs] That’s not kind. Go ahead.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Well, a lot of these are, like, acknowledging like “This is trash and we love some good hot trash.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

I like the idea that we get to decide what trash is acceptable.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yep.

KYLE GETZ

Um, I think another part of this is, similar to “Gays like iced coffee,” is you get to feel connected to gay culture no matter where or who you are.

MIKE JOHNSON

Sure.

KYLE GETZ

I think you could be in the boonies and you listen to this and you get to feel like you’re part of gay culture. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything. So- Especially because this was released around Pride, in June.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, it was released in May, but you know, around June… then we get to, no matter who we are or what we’re doing, play this song and feel like we’re part of gay culture.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

That, I think, is an important thing sometimes.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Yeah, I’m with you. Yeah, absolutely. And it doesn’t have to make sense.

KYLE GETZ

It doesn’t have to make sense. That’s true. But I think there are a lot of- It’s always interesting looking at all these factors that add up together, like her cult following, plus going on TikTok, and plus American Idol, and plus, you know, the weird sounds, and plus we all call it a bop. Like, you know, all these things add together to make it part of gay culture.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, did we do it?

KYLE GETZ  

I… don’t know. How do you- We didn’t talk about- How do you feel about her?

MIKE JOHNSON

Fine.

KYLE GETZ

[chuckles] Yeah? That’s kind of where I’m at too.

MIKE JOHNSON  

So, one of the articles that I looked at had a picture of her wax sculpture at, like, a Madame Tussauds, and it looks exactly like her.

KYLE GETZ

Oooh.

MIKE JOHNSON

That’s how I feel about her. [Kyle chuckles] Like, she’s a person that looks exactly like her own wax sculpture.

KYLE GETZ  

That’s hilarious. Um, I… yeah, just kind of feel, like, fine about her.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

I don’t love her, I don’t revere her the way others in other countries do, and I’m just kinda fine with her.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Eh.

MIKE JOHNSON  

I mean, I would- If she was coming to Pride, I would stay and see her.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah. If I already had a ticket.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. I think we did it.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Okay, we did it. Um, so, everybody on the stream and on Discord, we’re gonna do Gayest & Straightest here in just a little bit. Um, but first we have to take a break because that’s what we do, so-

KYLE GETZ

That’s what we do.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. So, should we take a break?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, let’s take a break.

MIKE JOHNSON

Let’s take a break.

[Break music plays, sung by MIKE JOHNSON]

This is the part where Mike and Kyle take a break!

MIKE JOHNSON

S- Are we back?

KYLE GETZ

We’re back!

MIKE JOHNSON

We’re back! [both chuckle]

KYLE GETZ

Oh, what a break that was.

MIKE JOHNSON

I have to pee so bad, and we can’t actually do that now!

KYLE GETZ

Oh no! [both chuckle] You got seven minutes, hold on.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Alright, alright, alright.

KYLE GETZ

Um…

MIKE JOHNSON

We’re gonna do our Gayest & Straightest, but first, hey, dirty fuckers..! We’re coming to Houston…

KYLE GETZ

Yeah!

MIKE JOHNSON

…neeeext month, next month. Uh, so yeah, we will be in Houston. We’re performing at KIKI, right there in the Montrose neighborhood, on Sunday, October the 15th at noon. Be there or be square.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah. Buy your tickets at gayishpodcast.com/live.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Um, also if you are listening to this live over the weekend, next up is Pod Is My Copilot, so stick around to listen to them.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeaaah! Heart them.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Big hugs.

KYLE GETZ  

Um, do you want to do- Should we do our contact info?

MIKE JOHNSON

Sure. Our website is gayishpodcast.com.

KYLE GETZ

We are on socials, including Instagram, and we have our own Discord. So, if you want to come hang out in a different Discord, you can find all that contact info at gayishpodcast.com/contact.

MIKE JOHNSON  

Our hotline, you can send us text messages or leave us voicemails, is 5855-Gayish. That’s 585-542-9474. Standard rates apply.

KYLE GETZ  

Our email is gayispot- [Mike chuckles] …gayishpodcast@gmail.com.

MIKE JOHNSON  

And our physical mailing address is Post Office Box 19882 Seattle, Washington 98109.

KYLE GETZ

Is it time for our Gayest & Straightest?

MIKE JOHNSON

It’s time for our Gayest & Straightest.

KYLE GETZ  

…I’ll go.

MIKE JOHNSON

Okay, go!

KYLE GETZ

Um, so my gayest is: I have been listening to all of these gay-ass podcasts all weekend.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeaaah! Pride48, we see you.

KYLE GETZ

Pride48, yep. Yep. So, I’ve been hanging out in the chat, all that good stuff.

MIKE JOHNSON

Do you have a favorite? Do you wanna call out somebody and have everybody else feel bad by comparison?

KYLE GETZ  

Sure. [Mike chuckles] Uh, well, Adam Burns, on Geeky Gay, did five shows.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

Knocked out five shows…

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

…in order to get all this week’s done.

MIKE JOHNSON  

…On top of being on basically all of the other shows also, so…

KYLE GETZ  

Basically every other show. I don’t know- At the end of this, he’s not gonna be able to talk because it’d just be like “I have nothing else to talk about. I’m out.”

MIKE JOHNSON

He’s the MVP award.

KYLE GETZ  

Yep. Um, and my straightest is: I was informed- we were informed by someone that Cher is releasing a Christmas album. I had no idea. And so, feeling out of the loop on Sher is my straightest.

MIKE JOHNSON

Great. Well done.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. [both chuckle] What about you?

MIKE JOHNSON

Uh… what about me? So, the gayest thing about me this week is, uh: last night with the boyfriend watching The Little Mermaid. [laughs]

KYLE GETZ

The new one?

MIKE JOHNSON

The new one, yeah. I just was like-

KYLE GETZ

How was it?

MIKE JOHNSON

It was really good.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yes. I felt- Like, just by watching it I felt anti-racist, you know what I mean?

KYLE GETZ

Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

MIKE JOHNSON

And then uh, the straightest thing about me this week was, uh: I’ve been doing a bunch of traveling, the battery and the Jeep has been going bad for a while, and I just hopped in and drove just a short way down the street. And thank God I was parked on the hill, because then when I got back into the Jeep after running my errand, it would not turn over, it wouldn’t start. The battery was dead, so I roll started it.

KYLE GETZ  

Whooh, how do you do that?

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. You either have to push – push start – it, or you have to be on a hill and get it going fast enough that you can pop the clutch and then it’ll turn over, because you don’t need the battery necessarily to make the engine go. If your alternator’s working, it will spark the spark plugs and make the gas burn, you just have to get up to speed and then pop the clutch and it goes.

KYLE GETZ

Wow.

MIKE JOHNSON

It was so impressive. I got- Like, I was so straight.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah, that’s very impressive.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah. Um… okay, Gayest & Straightest.

KYLE GETZ  

We have a couple from our chat. So, I will grab… RTCruiser’s straightest was “Taking a chunk off my knuckle working on my car.”

MIKE JOHNSON

Ouch.

KYLE GETZ

Ow.

MIKE JOHNSON

He has a whole bunch of cars.

KYLE GETZ

Oh. Um, gayest is “Said car is like a rolling brothel with green metallic interior with leopard skin print accents”.

MIKE JOHNSON

Oh my goodness.

KYLE GETZ

Wow, is that very gay.

MIKE JOHNSON  

[chuckles] That’s awesome.

KYLE GETZ

Yeah.

MIKE JOHNSON

Um, this one’s from Moose P.

KYLE GETZ

Do it.

MIKE JOHNSON

Steve Moose P. Uh, “Gayest: listening to [Pride48] most of the weekend,” just like Kyle. “Straightest: But right now have one eye on Scream on TV.” [Kyle chuckles]

KYLE GETZ  

…Um, and then from DocStone “GAYEST and STRAIGHTEST was happening concurrently. I’m passively watching the 49ers football game, but I was trying to learn to play on the piano a Judy Garland song, ‘The Man That Got Away.’”

MIKE JOHNSON  

Awh! [Kyle chuckles] Well, that is it. A special, special thank you to Pride48 for all of the fun years of live streaming with you all. We’re happy to keep participating in whatever form the future takes. And, of course, a huge thanks to Adam and Daniel for all of the hard work that they do. You guys are fucking amazing.

KYLE GETZ  

Yeah, thank you, Adam and Daniel, for everything that you’ve done and the community you’ve created.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeah.

KYLE GETZ

I also want to thank our Super Gap Bridgers; they’re the ones that give us the most money. So, thank you to Kit Oliver, Andrew Bugbee, William Bryant, Christopher M, John Crawley, Stephen Portch, Joh Stoessel, Harry Shaw, Josh Copeland, Jonathan Montañez, Waddu, Forrest Nail, Patrick Martin, James Barrow, Steve Douglas, Explosive Lasagna, Michael Cubbington, Just Jamie, Kevin Henderson, Tomas B, Timothy Saura, DustySands, AE Coleman, Chris Khachatourians, and Jerome York.

MIKE JOHNSON

Yeaaah!

KYLE GETZ

Thank you for your support.

MIKE JOHNSON

Thanks for your money!

KYLE GETZ

…For your support.

MIKE JOHNSON  

[laughs] Uh, this has been Gayish. From the Chris Khachatourians studios, I’m Mike Johnson.

KYLE GETZ  

I’m Kyle Getz. Until next week, be butch, be fabulous, be you.

[Outro music plays, instrumental]

MIKE JOHNSON  

See you next week, y’all.

KYLE GETZ

See you next week.

MIKE JOHNSON

Buy your tickets for Houston.

KYLE GETZ

Pleeease.

MIKE JOHNSON

And bye, Pride48.

KYLE GETZ

Bye.

MIKE JOHNSON

In the immortal words of Fetty, “Now, how do I turn this shit off?”

[Transcriptionist: C Dixon, CMDixonWork@gmail.com]